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Jack Benny Quotes

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes Picture Quote #1

Hors D’oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces Picture Quote #1

As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number Picture Quote #1

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Picture Quote #1

I could do John Wayne, Jack Benny, Jack Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and entertain my friends. But I never seriously considered it as a career choice Picture Quote #1

I love getting on You Tube to look at the old comics. I am in my element seeing guys like Jack Benny and Phil Silvers give interviews Picture Quote #1

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My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he’s lost it. The string came off! Picture Quote #1

Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in Picture Quote #1

Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost Picture Quote #1

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack’s timing, but I don’t think you can teach timing. It’s something you hear in your head Picture Quote #1

I always used to sit next to Mel Blanc when we’d do the shows. When you have Jack Benny on one side and Mel Blanc on the other, you’re not going to go far wrong Picture Quote #1

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never Picture Quote #1

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I’ve always been the king of silence. I’ve always been a minimalist comedian. I’ve taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I’ve always done ‘less is more.’ Picture Quote #1

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Picture Quote #1

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Picture Quote #1

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now Picture Quote #1

I’m happy to be making my first appearance on air professionally. By that I mean I’m finally getting paid, which I know will be a great relief to my creditors Picture Quote #1

When you talk about the world’s greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him! Picture Quote #1

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If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they’ve all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there’s something about laughter and the durability of a marriage Picture Quote #1

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never Picture Quote #1

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too Picture Quote #1

Gags die, humor doesn’t Picture Quote #1

If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter Picture Quote #1

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It’s not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause Picture Quote #1

Modesty is my best quality Picture Quote #1

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early Picture Quote #1

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident Picture Quote #1

I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won’t get worse Picture Quote #1

A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes (Jack Benny Quotes) Hors D’oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces (Jack Benny Quotes) As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number (Jack Benny Quotes) Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter (Jack Benny Quotes) I could do John Wayne, Jack Benny, Jack Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and entertain my friends. But I never seriously considered it as a career choice (Jack Benny Quotes) I love getting on You Tube to look at the old comics. I am in my element seeing guys like Jack Benny and Phil Silvers give interviews (Jack Benny Quotes) My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he’s lost it. The string came off! (Jack Benny Quotes) Everybody is afraid they won’t have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in (Jack Benny Quotes) Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost (Jack Benny Quotes) I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack’s timing, but I don’t think you can teach timing. It’s something you hear in your head (Jack Benny Quotes) I always used to sit next to Mel Blanc when we’d do the shows. When you have Jack Benny on one side and Mel Blanc on the other, you’re not going to go far wrong (Jack Benny Quotes) My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never (Jack Benny Quotes) I’ve always been the king of silence. I’ve always been a minimalist comedian. I’ve taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that I’ve always done ‘less is more.’ (Jack Benny Quotes) Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. (Jack Benny Quotes) Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. (Jack Benny Quotes) I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now. (Jack Benny Quotes) I’m happy to be making my first appearance on air professionally. By that I mean I’m finally getting paid, which I know will be a great relief to my creditors. (Jack Benny Quotes) When you talk about the world’s greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank Sinatra got anywhere near him! (Jack Benny Quotes) If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they’ve all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there’s something about laughter and the durability of a marriage. (Jack Benny Quotes) My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. (Jack Benny Quotes) I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either (Jack Benny Quotes) I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too (Jack Benny Quotes) Gags die, humor doesn’t (Jack Benny Quotes) If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter (Jack Benny Quotes) It’s not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause (Jack Benny Quotes) Modesty is my best quality (Jack Benny Quotes) I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early (Jack Benny Quotes) Everything good that happened to me happened by accident (Jack Benny Quotes) I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won’t get worse (Jack Benny Quotes) A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper (Jack Benny Quotes)

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