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Janet Evanovich Quotes

I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea Picture Quote #1

How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn’t show Picture Quote #1

I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want? Picture Quote #1

Honey, a man can’t keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn’t done Picture Quote #1

Just because I know how to change a guys oil doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage Picture Quote #1

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour! Picture Quote #1

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Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth Picture Quote #1

I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I’d like to say I haven’t run over anyone since Picture Quote #1

Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who’s knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that’s some kind of record Picture Quote #1

You’d tell me if we were getting married, wouldn’t you? I mean, you wouldn’t just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour Picture Quote #1

Turns out, that’s how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up Picture Quote #1

I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times Picture Quote #1

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On the bright side, I’m sure this isn’t the last time you’ll ever get firebombed, so maybe you’ll have better luck next time Picture Quote #1

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble Picture Quote #1

If I let her in I’m doomed. It’s like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you’ve invite them in, that’s it, you’re good as dead! Picture Quote #1

A woman’s never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity Picture Quote #1

I wasn’t sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay Picture Quote #1

Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy Picture Quote #1

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I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother Picture Quote #1

And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert Picture Quote #1

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you’re not pregnant, on account of you’re not gettin any Picture Quote #1

It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away Picture Quote #1

Personally, I’m a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don’t have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It’s magic. End of discussion Picture Quote #1

Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don’t go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut Picture Quote #1

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You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet Picture Quote #1

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car... just for old times Picture Quote #1

I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter Picture Quote #1

Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don’t count Picture Quote #1

Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he’ll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today Picture Quote #1

When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I take in a lot of stuff from real life, movies, television, news and it all gets mixed in my head and somehow turns into a story idea (Janet Evanovich Quotes) How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn’t show (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want? (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Honey, a man can’t keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn’t done (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Just because I know how to change a guys oil doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour! (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I’d like to say I haven’t run over anyone since (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Some men go a lifetime and never have their kid blow up a car, but I have a daughter who’s knocked off three cars and burned down a funeral home. Maybe that’s some kind of record (Janet Evanovich Quotes) You’d tell me if we were getting married, wouldn’t you? I mean, you wouldn’t just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Turns out, that’s how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times (Janet Evanovich Quotes) On the bright side, I’m sure this isn’t the last time you’ll ever get firebombed, so maybe you’ll have better luck next time (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble (Janet Evanovich Quotes) If I let her in I’m doomed. It’s like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you’ve invite them in, that’s it, you’re good as dead! (Janet Evanovich Quotes) A woman’s never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I wasn’t sure exactly how prostitutes determined price, but if men bought hookers by the pound, these two would be doing okay (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up and strangle my grandmother (Janet Evanovich Quotes) And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you’re not pregnant, on account of you’re not gettin any (Janet Evanovich Quotes) It was a weird sensation. Like getting caught eavesdropping, or lying, or sitting on the toilet and having the bathroom walls suddenly drop away (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Personally, I’m a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don’t have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It’s magic. End of discussion (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don’t go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut (Janet Evanovich Quotes) You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car... just for old times (Janet Evanovich Quotes) I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don’t count (Janet Evanovich Quotes) Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he’ll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today (Janet Evanovich Quotes) When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing (Janet Evanovich Quotes)

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