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Jasper Carrott Quotes

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests Picture Quote #1

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That’s provided he hadn’t died of a heart attack by then Picture Quote #1

I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I’ve discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb Picture Quote #1

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I’ve always got one eye on what’s in the bank Picture Quote #1

I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink Picture Quote #1

I was never the class clown, and I’ve no idea where the comedy came from Picture Quote #1

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There’s a rumour going ‘round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal Picture Quote #1

I’ve always been sensible with my money. I can’t say I’m a business genius Picture Quote #1

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you’re diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list Picture Quote #1

They put up this bloke’s picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said ‘Have you seen this man?’ Well my auntie rang them up and said ‘No’ Picture Quote #1

I am amazed at radio DJ’s today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for Picture Quote #1

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook Picture Quote #1

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Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy Picture Quote #1

I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I’ve discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb Picture Quote #1

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them Picture Quote #1

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy Picture Quote #1

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I’ve always got one eye on what’s in the bank Picture Quote #1

I’ve always been sensible with my money. I can’t say I’m a business genius Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That’s provided he hadn’t died of a heart attack by then. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I’ve discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I have that working class fear of having nothing. I’ve always got one eye on what’s in the bank. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I was never the class clown, and I’ve no idea where the comedy came from (Jasper Carrott Quotes) There’s a rumour going ‘round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I’ve always been sensible with my money. I can’t say I’m a business genius. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) Laughter is the best medicine - unless you’re diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list. (Jasper Carrott Quotes) They put up this bloke’s picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said ‘Have you seen this man?’ Well my auntie rang them up and said ‘No’ (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I am amazed at radio DJ’s today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I have to confess here that I am a useless cook (Jasper Carrott Quotes) Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I am cursed with a right leg that arouses the desire of any male dog that happens to be passing. I used to think that this only happened to me but I’ve discovered that many people have the same problem. They have a femme fatale limb (Jasper Carrott Quotes) Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I have that working class fear of having nothing. I’ve always got one eye on what’s in the bank (Jasper Carrott Quotes) I’ve always been sensible with my money. I can’t say I’m a business genius (Jasper Carrott Quotes)