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Joan Rivers Quotes

I think I’ve lost 3lbs - I’m very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa Picture Quote #1

Nobody wants to hear that you met Harry Truman... I met Harry Truman... But you know what I mean? Nobody’s interested. They want to know you met Rihanna. And that kills me Picture Quote #1

I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool Picture Quote #1

Having my daughter I screamed for twenty-three hours straight. And that was just during conception Picture Quote #1

I’ve learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you’re working with, when the chips are down, it’s all about business Picture Quote #1

What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me Picture Quote #1

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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on Picture Quote #1

If you don’t think you’re funny, no one else will Picture Quote #1

I was my own buddy in camp Picture Quote #1

Moving on is a gift you give yourself Picture Quote #1

Having a baby is definitely a labor of love Picture Quote #1

Having a baby can be a scream Picture Quote #1

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Any form of complacency is the kiss of death for any professional Picture Quote #1

Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending Picture Quote #1

Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target Picture Quote #1

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train Picture Quote #1

Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been Picture Quote #1

You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you Picture Quote #1

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Emotional troubles are like landfill. Get them outside, and the air disintegrates them Picture Quote #1

Run scared... and they never catch you Picture Quote #1

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy Picture Quote #1

I lived to be on stage, and I’m terrified. Terrified before every show Picture Quote #1

I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs Picture Quote #1

My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller Picture Quote #1

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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it... Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things Picture Quote #1

I’m not trying to be the next Joan Rivers Picture Quote #1

I told my mother in law that my house was her house, and she said,

I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor Picture Quote #1

I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material Picture Quote #1

I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you’re really not concentrating on the world crisis Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I think I’ve lost 3lbs - I’m very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa. (Joan Rivers Quotes) Nobody wants to hear that you met Harry Truman... I met Harry Truman... But you know what I mean? Nobody’s interested. They want to know you met Rihanna. And that kills me. (Joan Rivers Quotes) I hate old people, I hate children. I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool. (Joan Rivers Quotes) Having my daughter I screamed for twenty-three hours straight. And that was just during conception. (Joan Rivers Quotes) I’ve learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you’re working with, when the chips are down, it’s all about business. (Joan Rivers Quotes) What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me (Joan Rivers Quotes) My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on (Joan Rivers Quotes) If you don’t think you’re funny, no one else will (Joan Rivers Quotes) I was my own buddy in camp (Joan Rivers Quotes) Moving on is a gift you give yourself (Joan Rivers Quotes) Having a baby is definitely a labor of love (Joan Rivers Quotes) Having a baby can be a scream (Joan Rivers Quotes) Any form of complacency is the kiss of death for any professional (Joan Rivers Quotes) Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending (Joan Rivers Quotes) Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target (Joan Rivers Quotes) To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train (Joan Rivers Quotes) Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been (Joan Rivers Quotes) You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you (Joan Rivers Quotes) Emotional troubles are like landfill. Get them outside, and the air disintegrates them (Joan Rivers Quotes) Run scared... and they never catch you (Joan Rivers Quotes) My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy (Joan Rivers Quotes) I lived to be on stage, and I’m terrified. Terrified before every show (Joan Rivers Quotes) I now consider it a good day when I don’t step on my boobs (Joan Rivers Quotes) My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller (Joan Rivers Quotes) Life goes by fast. Enjoy it... Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things (Joan Rivers Quotes) I’m not trying to be the next Joan Rivers (Joan Rivers Quotes) I told my mother in law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property." (Joan Rivers Quotes) I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor (Joan Rivers Quotes) I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow, which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material (Joan Rivers Quotes) I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you’re really not concentrating on the world crisis (Joan Rivers Quotes)

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