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John Kerry Quotes
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Text Quotes
John Kerry, windsurfing dilettante (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry will undergo surgery to repair his right shoulder. He originally hurt it when he suddenly switched positions on Iraq (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican (John Kerry Quotes)
A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today, President Bush called Newsweek magazine a threat to world peace (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now, those that do not campaign well and are boring, will end up stuck in the Senate (John Kerry Quotes)
Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry says the ‘W’ in George W. Bush stands for ‘Wrong.’ But he still can’t explain what John Kerry stands for (John Kerry Quotes)
Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his service in Vietnam and the Swift Boat campaign? It all took place in Vietnam and now it just won’t go away. I was thinking about this - if John Kerry had just ducked the war like everybody else he wouldn’t have this trouble (John Kerry Quotes)
There was an embarrassing moment at a recent Democratic fundraiser. When John Kerry was handed a $10 million dollar check, he said, ‘I do.’ (John Kerry Quotes)
‘Shrek 2’ made over $120 million during its first week. In a related story, John Kerry asked Shrek to marry him (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called a ‘charisma black hole.’ (John Kerry Quotes)
Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he’s questioning Bush’s judgment (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit (John Kerry Quotes)
President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them (John Kerry Quotes)
Today Secretary of State John Kerry visited the small African nation of Djibouti. Or to use the official diplomatic term, he made a Djibouti call (John Kerry Quotes)
Today, John Kerry announced a fool-proof plan to wipe out the $500B deficit. John Kerry has a plan, he’s going to put it on his wife’s Gold Card (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry says that foreign leaders want him to be president, but that he can’t name the foreign leaders. That’s all right, President Bush can’t name them either (John Kerry Quotes)
This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, ‘I’m John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.’ (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry described his Republican critics as ‘the most crooked, lying group I’ve ever seen.’ Now, that’s saying something, because Kerry’s both a lawyer and a politician (John Kerry Quotes)
John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle (John Kerry Quotes)
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that can sink John Kerry now is an Al Gore endorsement (John Kerry Quotes)
Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really rich country like Switzerland and marry it (John Kerry Quotes)
The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty good, and begs the question, why the long face? (John Kerry Quotes)
According to the recent polls, Bush has a slight lead over John Kerry. So today, Bush hung a banner over the White House saying, ‘Mission Accomplished.’ (John Kerry Quotes)
President Bush says now he is sticking to his plan for handing over power to the Iraqis on June 30. It’s also part of his plan to hand over power to John Kerry on January 20 (John Kerry Quotes)
Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry (John Kerry Quotes)
By 1973, John Kerry had already accused American soldiers of committing war crimes in Vietnam, thrown someone else’s medals to the ground in an anti-war demonstration, and married his first heiress. (John Kerry Quotes)
An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said ‘Close, but no cigar.’ (John Kerry Quotes)