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John Oliver Quotes

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional Picture Quote #1

Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are ‘featuring Sting,’ Picture Quote #1

Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it’s actually more like raisins into a cookie because no one [expletive] wants them there Picture Quote #1

If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight Picture Quote #1

I’ve made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression Picture Quote #1

When you’ve married someone who’s been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery Picture Quote #1

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You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting Picture Quote #1

There’s never any time I think I’m a real journalist, because I don’t have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that Picture Quote #1

I’m British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything Picture Quote #1

The moment I accept that there’s an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I’ll get hooked Picture Quote #1

Sometimes it’s good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest Picture Quote #1

The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not Picture Quote #1

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When you’re dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you’re doing Picture Quote #1

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn’t be when it is literally your job Picture Quote #1

People are always going to say stupid things, and you’re always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it’s the easiest thing Picture Quote #1

Here in America, people come out to see what they’ve known you to do. In England, it’s like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you’re doing Picture Quote #1

In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don’t really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face Picture Quote #1

Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I’ve ever been in. They’ve really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper Picture Quote #1

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The only thing I’m nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven’t seen Picture Quote #1

Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh Picture Quote #1

I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider’s eye. And so I have an outsider’s voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don’t belong here. And I think that helps in a way Picture Quote #1

I don’t know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room Picture Quote #1

The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional (John Oliver Quotes) Net neutrality: The only two words that promise more boredom in the English language are ‘featuring Sting,’ (John Oliver Quotes) Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it’s actually more like raisins into a cookie because no one [expletive] wants them there (John Oliver Quotes) If your name is Sepp, at the bare minimum you’ve strangled someone in a bar fight (John Oliver Quotes) I’ve made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression (John Oliver Quotes) When you’ve married someone who’s been at war, there is nothing you can do that compares to that level of selflessness and bravery (John Oliver Quotes) You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting (John Oliver Quotes) There’s never any time I think I’m a real journalist, because I don’t have any of the qualifications or the intentions for that (John Oliver Quotes) I’m British, so obviously I repress any powerful emotions of any kind in relation to anything (John Oliver Quotes) The moment I accept that there’s an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I’ll get hooked (John Oliver Quotes) Sometimes it’s good to remember how bad food can be, so you can enjoy the concept of flavour to the fullest (John Oliver Quotes) The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not (John Oliver Quotes) When you’re dealing with serious subjects, there is a pressure to be absolutely sure that you know what you’re doing (John Oliver Quotes) You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn’t be when it is literally your job (John Oliver Quotes) People are always going to say stupid things, and you’re always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it’s the easiest thing (John Oliver Quotes) Here in America, people come out to see what they’ve known you to do. In England, it’s like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you’re doing (John Oliver Quotes) In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don’t really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face (John Oliver Quotes) Australia turns out to be a sensational place, albeit one of the most comfortably racist places I’ve ever been in. They’ve really settled into their intolerance like an old resentful slipper (John Oliver Quotes) The only thing I’m nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven’t seen (John Oliver Quotes) Once you learn how to make people laugh, then you get to choose exactly how you want to make them laugh (John Oliver Quotes) I think being an outsider in general always helps you in comedy. I think it helps to have an outsider’s eye. And so I have an outsider’s voice. You know, as soon as I start talking, I don’t belong here. And I think that helps in a way (John Oliver Quotes) I don’t know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room (John Oliver Quotes) The poverty line is like the age of consent: if you find yourself parsing exactly where it is, you’ve probably already done something very, very wrong (John Oliver Quotes)

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