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Johnny Carson Quotes

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don’t need to be stoked by going before the public all the time Picture Quote #1

I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals Picture Quote #1

I think they [Martin Scorsese, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra] liked my honesty. My personality. For that, they always treated me great. I, in turn, treated them great. No secret about it. My being who I am - that is that Picture Quote #1

Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor’s vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony Picture Quote #1

I think it’s almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that’s really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There’s not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations Picture Quote #1

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners Picture Quote #1

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I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can’t eat but one steak at a time. I don’t want but one woman. It’s silly to have as one’s sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth Picture Quote #1

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead Picture Quote #1

Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves Picture Quote #1

The closest thing to Roseanne Barr’s singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered Picture Quote #1

Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You’re going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don’t care who. You can’t make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America Picture Quote #1

Democracy is buying a big house you can’t afford with money you don’t have to impress people you wish were dead Picture Quote #1

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Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples Picture Quote #1

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place Picture Quote #1

I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over Picture Quote #1

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off Picture Quote #1

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die Picture Quote #1

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas Picture Quote #1

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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself Picture Quote #2

Only lie about the future Picture Quote #1

Blow in it’s ear Picture Quote #1

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners Picture Quote #1

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam Picture Quote #1

Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: ‘Are your ready?’ Picture Quote #1

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Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place Picture Quote #1

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don’t need to be stoked by going before the public all the time Picture Quote #1

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower Picture Quote #1

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved Picture Quote #1

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead Picture Quote #1

When turkeys mate they think of swans Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I have an ego like anybody else, but I don’t need to be stoked by going before the public all the time. (Johnny Carson Quotes) I know a guy who gave up smoking cigarettes, consuming, sex, and wealthy meals (Johnny Carson Quotes) I think they [Martin Scorsese, Johnny Carson, Frank Sinatra] liked my honesty. My personality. For that, they always treated me great. I, in turn, treated them great. No secret about it. My being who I am - that is that. (Johnny Carson Quotes) Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor’s vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony. (Johnny Carson Quotes) I think it’s almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that’s really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There’s not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations. (Johnny Carson Quotes) If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. (Johnny Carson Quotes) I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can’t eat but one steak at a time. I don’t want but one woman. It’s silly to have as one’s sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth (Johnny Carson Quotes) If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead (Johnny Carson Quotes) Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves (Johnny Carson Quotes) The closest thing to Roseanne Barr’s singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered (Johnny Carson Quotes) Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You’re going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don’t care who. You can’t make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America. (Johnny Carson Quotes) Democracy is buying a big house you can’t afford with money you don’t have to impress people you wish were dead. (Johnny Carson Quotes) Happiness is being stuck in an elevator and discovering the ravishing blonde with you is a liquor salesman with a case of samples. (Johnny Carson Quotes) Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place. (Johnny Carson Quotes) I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over (Johnny Carson Quotes) For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off (Johnny Carson Quotes) Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die (Johnny Carson Quotes) Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas (Johnny Carson Quotes) I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself (Johnny Carson Quotes) Only lie about the future (Johnny Carson Quotes) Blow in it’s ear (Johnny Carson Quotes) If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners (Johnny Carson Quotes) If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam (Johnny Carson Quotes) Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: ‘Are your ready?’ (Johnny Carson Quotes) Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place (Johnny Carson Quotes) I have an ego like anybody else, but I don’t need to be stoked by going before the public all the time (Johnny Carson Quotes) Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower (Johnny Carson Quotes) New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved (Johnny Carson Quotes) If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead (Johnny Carson Quotes) When turkeys mate they think of swans (Johnny Carson Quotes)

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