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Joke Quotes

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere Picture Quote #1

A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it’s the facial expression, you laugh. The laugh doesn’t wear off. It could be with you for thirty years Picture Quote #1

I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they’re laughing Picture Quote #1

My family joke that I’m really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11 Picture Quote #1

Chennai is one of the scariest crowds to face. Everyone looks so conservative, but once you crack the first joke, they are so appreciatively loud that they will hit you with a laugh that will scare you stiff and yet give you energy. Chennaiites give me the loudest laughs; it’s the coolest crowd to perform for Picture Quote #1

Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that’s why they have godfathers Picture Quote #1

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... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny Picture Quote #1

You remember having friends who used to lampoon the world so effortlessly, crouching at the verge of every joke and waiting to pounce on it, and you remember how they changed as they grew older and the joy of questioning everything slowly became transformed into the pain of questioning everything, like a star consuming its own core Picture Quote #1

He’d assumed that you went to school because you had to learn things, starting off with the easy stuff and moving on to the bigger issues, and once you’d learned them that was it, the way ahead opened up and thereafter life was simple and straightforward. What a joke. The older he got, the more complicated and obscure everything became Picture Quote #1

I don’t really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn’t really a joke, just tiny moments Picture Quote #1

Did I have a heart to be contented? Well, no, not particularly. I had a tendency to be discontented: ambitious, dissatisfied, fretful, and tough to please... It’s easier to complain than to laugh, easier to yell than to joke around, easier to be demanding than to be satisfied Picture Quote #1

She’d stood by that creed. No softness, because the world wasn’t soft; lots of laughter, because if you were in on the joke, the joke couldn’t be on you; And no wanting what you couldn’t take, because the world never gave. Or so she’d thought Picture Quote #1

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As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline Picture Quote #1

You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding Picture Quote #1

And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I’m pathetic, helpless in my current state, completely dependent on her? Or is it my sense of humour, my willingness to tease her, to joke my way into painful, secret places? Do I help her understand herself? Do I make her happy? Do I do something for her that her husband and son can’t do? Has she fallen in love with me? As the days pass and I continue to heal, my body knitting itself back together, I begin to allow myself to think that she has Picture Quote #1

If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things Picture Quote #1

I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I’m far more dangerous now, because I don’t care at all Picture Quote #1

I need to make an okay living. The people who work for us need to. But after you make a comfortable living, how much more do you need? It’s like I make a joke about nerd values, because I’m very much in the rich nerd tradition. And you know, we say, like, hey, people pay us for this stuff, like programming. You know, what else do we need? Picture Quote #1

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This is a funny story. We’d asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they’d come in with their cups of coffee and stuff. And so I get here and I have a spot for a cappuccino machine, and it didn’t work. So I don’t have any cappuccino... I didn’t miss the cappuccino, I missed the idea of cappuccino Picture Quote #1

We’re all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do so by gradually altering those habits, which is to say the networks of our memory. No lasting joke, or invention, or insight, or work of art was ever produced by an external memory. Not yet, at least Picture Quote #1

Many people think sports are totally physical, that you don’t have to think, everything is done for you and you’re catered to, I found that to be so far removed from the truth that it’s almost a joke. The ones who become stars are the ones who have a head on their shoulders and know how to use it Picture Quote #1

You only get one chance at life, not two! Don’t joke around with your own life Picture Quote #1

When I was in high school, I was dating this girl and wanted to make her birthday really special. I showed up early to school and went around to every single one of her classes and left a rose with her teachers. Each rose had a note with a little inside joke Picture Quote #1

I’m about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring Picture Quote #1

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Writing a first draft is like groping one’s way into a dark room, or overhearing a faint conversation, or telling a joke whose punchline you’ve forgotten. As someone said, one writes mainly to rewrite, for rewriting and revising are how one’s mind comes to inhabit the material fully Picture Quote #1

Both law and comedy are heavily focused on thought and viewing all angles. To write a good joke, you have to look at a premise every way possible. And with a good legal argument, you have to see all sides to get the best line of argument for your client. Law school made me a better comic, and comedy has made me a better public speaker Picture Quote #1

Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else Picture Quote #1

People want me to be funny all the time. They think I’m being funny no matter what I say or do and that’s not the case. I rarely joke unless I’m in front of a camera. It’s not what I am in real life. It’s what I do for a living Picture Quote #1

I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make Picture Quote #1

I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere (Joke Quotes) A comedy can actually get funnier and funnier. Even though you know the joke, you enjoy it so much, it’s the facial expression, you laugh. The laugh doesn’t wear off. It could be with you for thirty years (Joke Quotes) I do things, and other people laugh at them. I rarely know what the joke is supposed to be or why they’re laughing (Joke Quotes) My family joke that I’m really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11 (Joke Quotes) Chennai is one of the scariest crowds to face. Everyone looks so conservative, but once you crack the first joke, they are so appreciatively loud that they will hit you with a laugh that will scare you stiff and yet give you energy. Chennaiites give me the loudest laughs; it’s the coolest crowd to perform for (Joke Quotes) Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that’s why they have godfathers (Joke Quotes) ... nothing broke my heart like the slow death of a shared joke that had once seemed genuinely funny (Joke Quotes) You remember having friends who used to lampoon the world so effortlessly, crouching at the verge of every joke and waiting to pounce on it, and you remember how they changed as they grew older and the joy of questioning everything slowly became transformed into the pain of questioning everything, like a star consuming its own core (Joke Quotes) He’d assumed that you went to school because you had to learn things, starting off with the easy stuff and moving on to the bigger issues, and once you’d learned them that was it, the way ahead opened up and thereafter life was simple and straightforward. What a joke. The older he got, the more complicated and obscure everything became (Joke Quotes) I don’t really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn’t really a joke, just tiny moments (Joke Quotes) Did I have a heart to be contented? Well, no, not particularly. I had a tendency to be discontented: ambitious, dissatisfied, fretful, and tough to please... It’s easier to complain than to laugh, easier to yell than to joke around, easier to be demanding than to be satisfied (Joke Quotes) She’d stood by that creed. No softness, because the world wasn’t soft; lots of laughter, because if you were in on the joke, the joke couldn’t be on you; And no wanting what you couldn’t take, because the world never gave. Or so she’d thought (Joke Quotes) As though all the world were a bad joke and she was the only one around who knew the punchline (Joke Quotes) You know when I told you the joke about how a friend will help you move, but a real friend will help you move a body? I was only kidding (Joke Quotes) And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I’m pathetic, helpless in my current state, completely dependent on her? Or is it my sense of humour, my willingness to tease her, to joke my way into painful, secret places? Do I help her understand herself? Do I make her happy? Do I do something for her that her husband and son can’t do? Has she fallen in love with me? As the days pass and I continue to heal, my body knitting itself back together, I begin to allow myself to think that she has (Joke Quotes) If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things (Joke Quotes) I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I’m far more dangerous now, because I don’t care at all (Joke Quotes) I need to make an okay living. The people who work for us need to. But after you make a comfortable living, how much more do you need? It’s like I make a joke about nerd values, because I’m very much in the rich nerd tradition. And you know, we say, like, hey, people pay us for this stuff, like programming. You know, what else do we need? (Joke Quotes) This is a funny story. We’d asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they’d come in with their cups of coffee and stuff. And so I get here and I have a spot for a cappuccino machine, and it didn’t work. So I don’t have any cappuccino... I didn’t miss the cappuccino, I missed the idea of cappuccino (Joke Quotes) We’re all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do so by gradually altering those habits, which is to say the networks of our memory. No lasting joke, or invention, or insight, or work of art was ever produced by an external memory. Not yet, at least (Joke Quotes) Many people think sports are totally physical, that you don’t have to think, everything is done for you and you’re catered to, I found that to be so far removed from the truth that it’s almost a joke. The ones who become stars are the ones who have a head on their shoulders and know how to use it (Joke Quotes) You only get one chance at life, not two! Don’t joke around with your own life (Joke Quotes) When I was in high school, I was dating this girl and wanted to make her birthday really special. I showed up early to school and went around to every single one of her classes and left a rose with her teachers. Each rose had a note with a little inside joke (Joke Quotes) I’m about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring (Joke Quotes) Writing a first draft is like groping one’s way into a dark room, or overhearing a faint conversation, or telling a joke whose punchline you’ve forgotten. As someone said, one writes mainly to rewrite, for rewriting and revising are how one’s mind comes to inhabit the material fully (Joke Quotes) Both law and comedy are heavily focused on thought and viewing all angles. To write a good joke, you have to look at a premise every way possible. And with a good legal argument, you have to see all sides to get the best line of argument for your client. Law school made me a better comic, and comedy has made me a better public speaker (Joke Quotes) Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else (Joke Quotes) People want me to be funny all the time. They think I’m being funny no matter what I say or do and that’s not the case. I rarely joke unless I’m in front of a camera. It’s not what I am in real life. It’s what I do for a living (Joke Quotes) I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make (Joke Quotes) I used to joke that I was trying to sell out, and nobody would buy me (Joke Quotes)

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