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Joke Quotes

In 1975, I left the burning city of Beirut for the quiet insanity of England. To say that short, frail and wispy 15-year-old me didn’t fit in would be such an understatement as to be a joke Picture Quote #1

Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You’re going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don’t care who. You can’t make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America Picture Quote #1

Work very very hard. This business is no joke. Make sure you know what you want or you might be taking someone else’s view instead of your own Picture Quote #1

If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you’d better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you’ll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you’re up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don’t expect any sympathy from anybody Picture Quote #1

As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I could never buy into the status quo. I just thought it was a joke; I couldn’t believe other people weren’t laughing at it Picture Quote #1

The producers want us to sell, sell, sell. That’s my little joke. That’s what we do by day; by night, we’re artists Picture Quote #1

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I rarely joke unless I’m in front of a camera. It’s not what I am in real life. It’s what I do for a living Picture Quote #1

We associate the North Atlantic with cod. The motto of Newfoundland used to be ‘In cod we trust.’ It was a joke, but it was essentially true. But there is no cod anymore. And that’s extraordinary. It’s all because of either greed or politics - Canadian politics Picture Quote #1

People who don’t like cats haven’t been around them. There’s the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff Picture Quote #1

Sometimes a joke that doesn’t work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed Picture Quote #1

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn’t think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian Picture Quote #1

I’ve been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That’s a joke, but not by much Picture Quote #1

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I have been so very, very fortunate in my life. I’ve met or been in contact with several of my childhood heroes. I’ve interacted with people all over this planet, and even though I couldn’t possibly hope to remember all their names, I remember a photograph, a poem, a sound, a joke, kind words of encouragement. All is not lost Picture Quote #1

Growing up the son of a director has made me very aware of the various turns that a directing career can take. Sometimes your films turn out exactly as you want. Sometimes they don’t. I spent a lot of my childhood on sets. I think as a joke, my father gave me a line of dialogue in each of his films during the worst moments of my puberty Picture Quote #1

My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them. It’s really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny? Picture Quote #1

As for the very first settlers, they were not even free. The founders were not a chosen people except in the old Australian joke that they were chosen by the best judges in England Picture Quote #1

When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that’s the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker Picture Quote #1

Community’ is a comedy show, and one of the characters happens to be a Christian. I do think they have been very careful to make sure everyone is the butt of the joke for various reasons Picture Quote #1

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If I’m getting on an airplane or anywhere, really, I have a lunch box and stuff. It’s a running joke with my friends and family - everyone gives me lunch boxes for Christmas Picture Quote #1

I grew up, as I joke around, in the ‘People’s Republic of Charlestown’ in the city of Boston. And I was blessed to be raised right there on Monument Square in Charlestown, and every morning I’d hop on the bus and go on a 45-minute ride out to the suburbs in Brooklyn for elementary school. And I got to have my seat, really, in both worlds Picture Quote #1

Civil disobedience presupposes willing obedience of our self-imposed rules, and without it civil disobedience would be a cruel joke Picture Quote #1

I don’t worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you’ll go insane Picture Quote #1

I haven’t had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn’t hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case Picture Quote #1

I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won’t. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The ‘art’ will suffer Picture Quote #1

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I have had every hair color. I joke with my hair colorist. She keeps sheets of paper on every hair color that I’ve had, so she has records of it all. She’s done my hair since I was 15, and I guess I have a thick folder going because I’ve had so many different hair colors Picture Quote #1

Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn’t happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be a team player Picture Quote #1

Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can’t joke about. Donald Trump’s rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn’t joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to Picture Quote #1

I just don’t get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That’s where jokes happen Picture Quote #1

A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done Picture Quote #1

Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women’s movement that liberated us, however Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

In 1975, I left the burning city of Beirut for the quiet insanity of England. To say that short, frail and wispy 15-year-old me didn’t fit in would be such an understatement as to be a joke. (Joke Quotes) Americans, too many of them, take themselves too seriously. You’re going to get rapped - by the viewers, by the sponsors and by the network brass - if you joke about doctors, lawyers, dentists, scientists, bus drivers, I don’t care who. You can’t make a joke about Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, politicians, dogs or cats. In fact, politicians, dogs and cats are the most sacred institutions in America. (Joke Quotes) Work very very hard. This business is no joke. Make sure you know what you want or you might be taking someone else’s view instead of your own. (Joke Quotes) If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you’d better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you’ll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you’re up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don’t expect any sympathy from anybody. (Joke Quotes) As a kid, I was searching for my tribe of other people who saw through the matrix. Even as a kid I could never buy into the status quo. I just thought it was a joke; I couldn’t believe other people weren’t laughing at it. (Joke Quotes) The producers want us to sell, sell, sell. That’s my little joke. That’s what we do by day; by night, we’re artists. (Joke Quotes) I rarely joke unless I’m in front of a camera. It’s not what I am in real life. It’s what I do for a living. (Joke Quotes) We associate the North Atlantic with cod. The motto of Newfoundland used to be ‘In cod we trust.’ It was a joke, but it was essentially true. But there is no cod anymore. And that’s extraordinary. It’s all because of either greed or politics - Canadian politics. (Joke Quotes) People who don’t like cats haven’t been around them. There’s the old joke: dogs have masters, cats have staff. (Joke Quotes) Sometimes a joke that doesn’t work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed. (Joke Quotes) Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn’t think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian. (Joke Quotes) I’ve been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That’s a joke, but not by much. (Joke Quotes) I have been so very, very fortunate in my life. I’ve met or been in contact with several of my childhood heroes. I’ve interacted with people all over this planet, and even though I couldn’t possibly hope to remember all their names, I remember a photograph, a poem, a sound, a joke, kind words of encouragement. All is not lost. (Joke Quotes) Growing up the son of a director has made me very aware of the various turns that a directing career can take. Sometimes your films turn out exactly as you want. Sometimes they don’t. I spent a lot of my childhood on sets. I think as a joke, my father gave me a line of dialogue in each of his films during the worst moments of my puberty. (Joke Quotes) My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them. It’s really annoying. So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny? (Joke Quotes) As for the very first settlers, they were not even free. The founders were not a chosen people except in the old Australian joke that they were chosen by the best judges in England. (Joke Quotes) When you get off stage, the audience should know a little bit about you. Not where you are from, but how you see the world. And that’s the difference between like a Chris Rock joke, and like an open-miker. (Joke Quotes) Community’ is a comedy show, and one of the characters happens to be a Christian. I do think they have been very careful to make sure everyone is the butt of the joke for various reasons. (Joke Quotes) If I’m getting on an airplane or anywhere, really, I have a lunch box and stuff. It’s a running joke with my friends and family - everyone gives me lunch boxes for Christmas. (Joke Quotes) I grew up, as I joke around, in the ‘People’s Republic of Charlestown’ in the city of Boston. And I was blessed to be raised right there on Monument Square in Charlestown, and every morning I’d hop on the bus and go on a 45-minute ride out to the suburbs in Brooklyn for elementary school. And I got to have my seat, really, in both worlds. (Joke Quotes) Civil disobedience presupposes willing obedience of our self-imposed rules, and without it civil disobedience would be a cruel joke. (Joke Quotes) I don’t worry about the last shot or the next shot. I concentrate. Every shot gets a clean slate. And when a shot is over, I wipe it out absolutely. Tell a joke or something. If you worry about how you looked, how well you did, you’ll go insane. (Joke Quotes) I haven’t had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn’t hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the slate clean - at least in my case. (Joke Quotes) I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won’t. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The ‘art’ will suffer. (Joke Quotes) I have had every hair color. I joke with my hair colorist. She keeps sheets of paper on every hair color that I’ve had, so she has records of it all. She’s done my hair since I was 15, and I guess I have a thick folder going because I’ve had so many different hair colors. (Joke Quotes) Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn’t happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be a team player. (Joke Quotes) Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can’t joke about. Donald Trump’s rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn’t joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to. (Joke Quotes) I just don’t get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That’s where jokes happen. (Joke Quotes) A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done. (Joke Quotes) Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women’s movement that liberated us, however. (Joke Quotes)

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