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Joke Quotes

The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore Picture Quote #1

Taking the time to polish a pun or fine-tune a practical joke is a way of saying, ‘I’m thinking about you and I want to please you.’ Picture Quote #1

If I was a locksmith, I’d be pimping that out man. I’ll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending Picture Quote #1

The truth is, my dad was a great driver. I mean, he could handle an automobile. He loved speed. He used to joke that his one regret was he didn’t join the volunteer fire service so he could drive the ambulance Picture Quote #1

So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I’m going to have a chance to fly it first and hand it over to him Picture Quote #1

First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that’s a joke and everybody in the world knows it Picture Quote #1

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I don’t know who made the first Aquaman joke. I’m sure it was comics readers; maybe we all did. But it’s the idea that the perpetuated story of Aquaman is that he only has powers in water, and he talks to fish. I think it’s the idea of him in the middle of a city just doesn’t make a lot of sense to people. It’s just the character itself Picture Quote #1

My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: ‘Who’s reviewing parking lots?’ Picture Quote #1

You’ve no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six hundred years Picture Quote #1

A novel wouldn’t be a book if there weren’t some flights of fancy on the part of the author, stopping time to examine things, or to tell a joke Picture Quote #1

I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard Picture Quote #1

I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde and then Fox Picture Quote #1

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Once you start thinking about it in a mercenary frame of mind, then you’re finished. You’re a joke, because there are too many mercenaries out there already Picture Quote #1

My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I’ve come full circle because that’s what the TV show is too Picture Quote #1

Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon Picture Quote #1

There’s not one thing that inspires me the most. Me and my friends joke around with each other and hang out so much that whatever makes us laugh really hard makes it into ‘Workaholics.’ But the characters that I think are funny are guys that are confidently stupid Picture Quote #1

Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too Picture Quote #1

Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view Picture Quote #1

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Every particle being connected with every other; you can’t fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh Picture Quote #1

I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It’s like, Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich? See? That was funny Picture Quote #1

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke Picture Quote #1

A joke is either funny or it’s not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that’s what I do. I don’t start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke Picture Quote #1

At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we’re talking about it, so it was a good call Picture Quote #1

It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something Picture Quote #1

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If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what’s funny in the joke Picture Quote #1

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I’ve never really played comedic parts Picture Quote #1

You can’t just explain a joke. Either it isn’t funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline Picture Quote #1

If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he’s serious, they look for a joke Picture Quote #1

I joke around a lot about the manic times because they’re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature Picture Quote #1

It’s harder when people are playing along, because it’s just not as funny. They’re trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

The fine line between roaring with laughter and crying because it’s a disaster is a very, very fine line. You see a chap slip on a banana skin in the street and you roar with laughter when he falls slap on his backside. If in doing so you suddenly see he’s broken a leg, you very quickly stop laughing and it’s not a joke anymore. (Joke Quotes) Taking the time to polish a pun or fine-tune a practical joke is a way of saying, ‘I’m thinking about you and I want to please you.’ (Joke Quotes) If I was a locksmith, I’d be pimping that out man. I’ll trade you a free key duplication for. That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending. (Joke Quotes) The truth is, my dad was a great driver. I mean, he could handle an automobile. He loved speed. He used to joke that his one regret was he didn’t join the volunteer fire service so he could drive the ambulance. (Joke Quotes) So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I’m going to have a chance to fly it first and hand it over to him. (Joke Quotes) First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that’s a joke and everybody in the world knows it. (Joke Quotes) I don’t know who made the first Aquaman joke. I’m sure it was comics readers; maybe we all did. But it’s the idea that the perpetuated story of Aquaman is that he only has powers in water, and he talks to fish. I think it’s the idea of him in the middle of a city just doesn’t make a lot of sense to people. It’s just the character itself. (Joke Quotes) My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: ‘Who’s reviewing parking lots?’ (Joke Quotes) You’ve no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out again after a rest of five or six hundred years. (Joke Quotes) A novel wouldn’t be a book if there weren’t some flights of fancy on the part of the author, stopping time to examine things, or to tell a joke. (Joke Quotes) I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard. (Joke Quotes) I joke that I reached the bimbo trifecta when I came to Fox News! In being a former Miss America, being blonde and then Fox. (Joke Quotes) Once you start thinking about it in a mercenary frame of mind, then you’re finished. You’re a joke, because there are too many mercenaries out there already. (Joke Quotes) My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I’ve come full circle because that’s what the TV show is too. (Joke Quotes) Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. (Joke Quotes) There’s not one thing that inspires me the most. Me and my friends joke around with each other and hang out so much that whatever makes us laugh really hard makes it into ‘Workaholics.’ But the characters that I think are funny are guys that are confidently stupid. (Joke Quotes) Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too. (Joke Quotes) Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view. (Joke Quotes) Every particle being connected with every other; you can’t fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh. (Joke Quotes) I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It’s like, Is this a funny joke for real? Or am I just rich? See? That was funny. (Joke Quotes) We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke. (Joke Quotes) A joke is either funny or it’s not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that’s what I do. I don’t start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke. (Joke Quotes) At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we’re talking about it, so it was a good call. (Joke Quotes) It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something. (Joke Quotes) If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what’s funny in the joke (Joke Quotes) I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I’ve never really played comedic parts (Joke Quotes) You can’t just explain a joke. Either it isn’t funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline. (Joke Quotes) If a playwright is funny, the English look for a serious message, and if he’s serious, they look for a joke. (Joke Quotes) I joke around a lot about the manic times because they’re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. (Joke Quotes) It’s harder when people are playing along, because it’s just not as funny. They’re trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke. (Joke Quotes)

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