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Joke Quotes

Plautus has prepared himself for a life beyond the grave; the comic stage deserted weeps; laughter also and jest and joke; and poetic and prosaic will bewail his loss together Picture Quote #1

Science is a bit like the joke about the drunk who is looking under a lamppost for a key that he has lost on the other side of the street, because that's where the light is. It has no other choice Picture Quote #1

Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty five pull ups. Pull ups are tough, no joke Picture Quote #1

Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong Picture Quote #1

A joke was not a single use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella Picture Quote #1

I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it Picture Quote #1

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What good are the passions? For sooner or later their sweet sickness ends when reason speaks up; and life, if surveyed with cold - blooded regard is stupid and empty - a joke Picture Quote #1

I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't Picture Quote #1

Much as you joke about it, it wouldn't do for anyone to find you here. My brothers are unpredictable, and Gran might just chase you around the manor with her cane Picture Quote #1

Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that Picture Quote #1

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie. A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion Picture Quote #1

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? Picture Quote #1

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My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself Picture Quote #1

Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! Picture Quote #1

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on Picture Quote #1

Forgive, o lord, my little jokes on thee, and I'll forgive thy great big joke on me Picture Quote #1

Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, who understands the time and place, the person, manner, and the grace, which fools neglect; so that we find, if all the requisites are join'd, from whence a perfect joke must spring, a joke's a very serious thing Picture Quote #1

I think of a piece, and then people who are competent fabricate it. But lately I've started finger painting, which probably should be a joke but isn't! Picture Quote #1

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Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning Picture Quote #1

My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke that caused me to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights I spent alone Picture Quote #1

An old paleontological in joke proclaims that mammalian evolution is a tale told by teeth mating to produce slightly altered descendant teeth Picture Quote #1

Don't make a film if it can't be the film you want to make. It's a joke, and a sick joke, and it'll kill you Picture Quote #1

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not Picture Quote #1

It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat Picture Quote #1

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You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue - agree with him Picture Quote #1

I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show Picture Quote #1

There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is the Brazil of today’s politicians. He has obviously achieved nothing Picture Quote #1

It’s a family joke that when I was a tiny child I turned from the window out of which I was watching a snowstorm, and hopefully asked, momma, do we believe in winter? Picture Quote #1

Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke? I’m trying to come to the point. I refuse to give up my obsession Picture Quote #1

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they’re really mean to each other about who makes what Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

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Text Quotes

Plautus has prepared himself for a life beyond the grave; the comic stage deserted weeps; laughter also and jest and joke; and poetic and prosaic will bewail his loss together (Joke Quotes) Science is a bit like the joke about the drunk who is looking under a lamppost for a key that he has lost on the other side of the street, because that's where the light is. It has no other choice (Joke Quotes) Even in my revenge fantasy where all I do is exercise, I can still do only twenty five pull ups. Pull ups are tough, no joke (Joke Quotes) Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you learned in the first half was wrong (Joke Quotes) A joke was not a single use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella (Joke Quotes) I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it (Joke Quotes) What good are the passions? For sooner or later their sweet sickness ends when reason speaks up; and life, if surveyed with cold - blooded regard is stupid and empty - a joke (Joke Quotes) I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't (Joke Quotes) Much as you joke about it, it wouldn't do for anyone to find you here. My brothers are unpredictable, and Gran might just chase you around the manor with her cane (Joke Quotes) Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that (Joke Quotes) Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie. A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion (Joke Quotes) Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? (Joke Quotes) My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself (Joke Quotes) Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! (Joke Quotes) I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on (Joke Quotes) Forgive, o lord, my little jokes on thee, and I'll forgive thy great big joke on me (Joke Quotes) Great use they have, when in the hands Of one like me, who understands, who understands the time and place, the person, manner, and the grace, which fools neglect; so that we find, if all the requisites are join'd, from whence a perfect joke must spring, a joke's a very serious thing (Joke Quotes) I think of a piece, and then people who are competent fabricate it. But lately I've started finger painting, which probably should be a joke but isn't! (Joke Quotes) Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning (Joke Quotes) My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke that caused me to laugh bitterly through the ten thousand nights I spent alone (Joke Quotes) An old paleontological in joke proclaims that mammalian evolution is a tale told by teeth mating to produce slightly altered descendant teeth (Joke Quotes) Don't make a film if it can't be the film you want to make. It's a joke, and a sick joke, and it'll kill you (Joke Quotes) I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not (Joke Quotes) It's amazing where a joke might come from. I find a lot of humour just by metaphorically turning things upside down or literally like my wife's cat (Joke Quotes) You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue - agree with him (Joke Quotes) I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show (Joke Quotes) There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is the Brazil of today’s politicians. He has obviously achieved nothing (Joke Quotes) It’s a family joke that when I was a tiny child I turned from the window out of which I was watching a snowstorm, and hopefully asked, momma, do we believe in winter? (Joke Quotes) Are you being sinister or is this some form of practical joke? I’m trying to come to the point. I refuse to give up my obsession (Joke Quotes) Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they’re really mean to each other about who makes what (Joke Quotes)

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