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Jokes Quotes

Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don’t know any jokes to tell. And when I do they’re really flat and don’t work Picture Quote #1

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love Picture Quote #1

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell Picture Quote #1

The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn’t bother you Picture Quote #1

I love you. I go weak when you touch me, I laugh at your jokes when they’re not funny, and I take every chance I can get to talk to you Picture Quote #1

I wanted to be funny. And I’m always acknowledged for my pranks and jokes nowadays Picture Quote #1

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I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I’m the worst. I like physical comedy; it’s where I feel comfortable Picture Quote #1

Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Live life, because tomorrow’s not guaranteed to anyone Picture Quote #1

We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes Picture Quote #1

I want to hold your hand, laugh at your jokes, walk by your side, snuggle on the couch, look into your eyes, talk about whatever and kiss your lips every single day Picture Quote #1

So many memories, stupid fights, inside jokes, and the craziest nights that I do always seems to happen when I’m with you Picture Quote #1

I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances Picture Quote #1

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Jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible Picture Quote #1

Ever since I was little, people would always make jokes about my low voice. But I think it’s so cool that you don’t have to have the picture-perfect, girly voice to do an animated film. I think it’s great for kids with different voices to know that they could do something like this Picture Quote #1

Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in The Fugitive. I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies Picture Quote #1

The way I figured it, keeping quiet was safe. Words could betray you if you chose the wrong ones, or mean less if you used too many. Jokes could be grandly miscalculated, or stories deemed boring, and I’d learned early on that my sense of humor and ideas about what sorts of things were fascinating didn’t exactly overlap with my friends Picture Quote #1

One of the stock Sydney jokes is of the census-taker who enquires: ‘How many children have you, ma’am?’ ‘Two living and three in Melbourne.’ Picture Quote #1

Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people Picture Quote #1

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I always hate telling my jokes in print ‘cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, ‘Oh, so that’s what that guy does in his stand-up? That’s terrible.’ Picture Quote #1

I’m not a comedian. I don’t do stand-up. I don’t tell jokes. I’m a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character Picture Quote #1

In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That’s what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition Picture Quote #1

I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus Picture Quote #1

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don’t tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction Picture Quote #1

Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that’s what I went towards Picture Quote #1

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I try to be personal, but that’s not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the most, are when comedians just give jokes. It’s a great joke of the day thing, especially revolving around current events. But that’s not my forte either, so I find myself in no man’s land with Twitter. I don’t particularly enjoy giving me out to everyone Picture Quote #1

For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It’s absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view Picture Quote #1

With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it’s absolutely not true. If I get home from a long day and he says: ‘Go on, get in the kitchen,’ it’s funny because we know it’s not our lives Picture Quote #1

Boys from my generation all love Jim Carrey! But you know, just being in his house with him and pitching jokes that he would act out, literally felt like the dreams that I had, so it was amazing Picture Quote #1

Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon Picture Quote #1

We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of ‘Trolls,’ because he does know how to time jokes Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don’t know any jokes to tell. And when I do they’re really flat and don’t work (Jokes Quotes) I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love (Jokes Quotes) I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell (Jokes Quotes) The moment when someone jokes about one of your insecurities and you have to pretend like it didn’t bother you (Jokes Quotes) I love you. I go weak when you touch me, I laugh at your jokes when they’re not funny, and I take every chance I can get to talk to you (Jokes Quotes) I wanted to be funny. And I’m always acknowledged for my pranks and jokes nowadays (Jokes Quotes) I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I’m the worst. I like physical comedy; it’s where I feel comfortable (Jokes Quotes) Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Live life, because tomorrow’s not guaranteed to anyone (Jokes Quotes) We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes (Jokes Quotes) I want to hold your hand, laugh at your jokes, walk by your side, snuggle on the couch, look into your eyes, talk about whatever and kiss your lips every single day (Jokes Quotes) So many memories, stupid fights, inside jokes, and the craziest nights that I do always seems to happen when I’m with you (Jokes Quotes) I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances (Jokes Quotes) Jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible (Jokes Quotes) Ever since I was little, people would always make jokes about my low voice. But I think it’s so cool that you don’t have to have the picture-perfect, girly voice to do an animated film. I think it’s great for kids with different voices to know that they could do something like this (Jokes Quotes) Some movies run off the rails. This one is like the train crash in The Fugitive. I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies (Jokes Quotes) The way I figured it, keeping quiet was safe. Words could betray you if you chose the wrong ones, or mean less if you used too many. Jokes could be grandly miscalculated, or stories deemed boring, and I’d learned early on that my sense of humor and ideas about what sorts of things were fascinating didn’t exactly overlap with my friends (Jokes Quotes) One of the stock Sydney jokes is of the census-taker who enquires: ‘How many children have you, ma’am?’ ‘Two living and three in Melbourne.’ (Jokes Quotes) Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people (Jokes Quotes) I always hate telling my jokes in print ‘cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, ‘Oh, so that’s what that guy does in his stand-up? That’s terrible.’ (Jokes Quotes) I’m not a comedian. I don’t do stand-up. I don’t tell jokes. I’m a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character (Jokes Quotes) In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That’s what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition (Jokes Quotes) I loved Omar Vizquel. He tells some really long jokes, and he has his own way of telling them, but he can make every joke very funny. He would always come up with jokes on the loudspeaker on the bus (Jokes Quotes) The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don’t tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction (Jokes Quotes) Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that’s what I went towards (Jokes Quotes) I try to be personal, but that’s not me, either. What seems to work best, and the tweets I enjoy reading the most, are when comedians just give jokes. It’s a great joke of the day thing, especially revolving around current events. But that’s not my forte either, so I find myself in no man’s land with Twitter. I don’t particularly enjoy giving me out to everyone (Jokes Quotes) For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And then eventually, I was like, Oh no. It’s absolutely my job to convey to people why what I think is funny, is funny. The whole point of standup is to get the audience to understand your weird point of view (Jokes Quotes) With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it’s absolutely not true. If I get home from a long day and he says: ‘Go on, get in the kitchen,’ it’s funny because we know it’s not our lives (Jokes Quotes) Boys from my generation all love Jim Carrey! But you know, just being in his house with him and pitching jokes that he would act out, literally felt like the dreams that I had, so it was amazing (Jokes Quotes) Being anti-war in Hollywood was an act of bravery on the order of the keynote speaker at a PLO dinner making jokes about Ariel Sharon. (Jokes Quotes) We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of ‘Trolls,’ because he does know how to time jokes. (Jokes Quotes)

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