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Jokes Quotes

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb... and I also know that I’m not blonde Picture Quote #1

I always was an early-morning or late-night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning, you make up some of your most absurd jokes Picture Quote #1

People are always going to say stupid things, and you’re always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it’s the easiest thing Picture Quote #1

There were always jokes about Hillary Clinton channeling Eleanor Roosevelt, but Eleanor Roosevelt was really instrumental at the UN, and would want to meet with various other delegates Picture Quote #1

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed Picture Quote #1

I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or just been one. I certainly liked entertaining people and making jokes, but I don’t know necessarily if that’s what your child is prone to that you should necessarily put them in a real working industry at six years old Picture Quote #1

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I love working on the fly when the writers come up with new jokes on show nights. It’s exciting. I love it so much Picture Quote #1

Watching an adaptation of your novel can be a violent experience: seeing your old jokes suddenly thrust at you can be alarming. But I started to enjoy ‘Money’ very quickly, and then I relaxed Picture Quote #1

But marrying within one’s own family can get monotonous. One has heard all the same family stories, knows all the jokes and all the same recipes. No novelty Picture Quote #1

I was pretty locked up emotionally as a kid - my family situation was tumultuous. But I was extroverted. So when I was in pain, I would tell jokes instead of expressing myself Picture Quote #1

The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love Picture Quote #1

I’m one of the most insecure people in the world, always have been, and when you’re a fat kid, you try to make the fat jokes before other people make them Picture Quote #1

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Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people Picture Quote #1

Audiences of critical thinkers are my favorite kinds of audiences. There are jokes I tell in the show that don’t get laughs unless I am in front of an audience of critical thinkers. Put me in front of a crowd of science teachers or astronauts! The guileless aren’t our audience - it’s the critical thinkers we love Picture Quote #1

I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I’m the worst. I like physical comedy; it’s where I feel comfortable Picture Quote #1

I was feeling guilty in the beginning; it was frustrating to be successful when a lot of my friends weren’t. Also, I was constantly being reminded of that by people in my family making jokes Picture Quote #1

I don’t think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don’t leave feeling too dark Picture Quote #1

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I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous Picture Quote #1

For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. I am my own grandpa and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins Picture Quote #1

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself Picture Quote #1

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you’re allowed to make jokes. I don’t want to live in some PC world where no-one’s allowed to say anything Picture Quote #1

The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I’m supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun Picture Quote #1

Friends are everything. They’re people you can tell anything to, do fun stuff with, laugh at the same jokes with, who understand what you’re going through ‘cause they’re going through it, too. Friends get it Picture Quote #1

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Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I’m pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I’m not sure because I think you broke my funny bone Picture Quote #1

Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon Picture Quote #1

I don’t laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny Picture Quote #1

It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier Picture Quote #1

I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes Picture Quote #1

Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb... and I also know that I’m not blonde. (Jokes Quotes) I always was an early-morning or late-night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning, you make up some of your most absurd jokes. (Jokes Quotes) People are always going to say stupid things, and you’re always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it’s the easiest thing. (Jokes Quotes) There were always jokes about Hillary Clinton channeling Eleanor Roosevelt, but Eleanor Roosevelt was really instrumental at the UN, and would want to meet with various other delegates. (Jokes Quotes) I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed. (Jokes Quotes) I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or just been one. I certainly liked entertaining people and making jokes, but I don’t know necessarily if that’s what your child is prone to that you should necessarily put them in a real working industry at six years old. (Jokes Quotes) I love working on the fly when the writers come up with new jokes on show nights. It’s exciting. I love it so much. (Jokes Quotes) Watching an adaptation of your novel can be a violent experience: seeing your old jokes suddenly thrust at you can be alarming. But I started to enjoy ‘Money’ very quickly, and then I relaxed. (Jokes Quotes) But marrying within one’s own family can get monotonous. One has heard all the same family stories, knows all the jokes and all the same recipes. No novelty. (Jokes Quotes) I was pretty locked up emotionally as a kid - my family situation was tumultuous. But I was extroverted. So when I was in pain, I would tell jokes instead of expressing myself. (Jokes Quotes) The Mexican...is familiar with death. [He] jokes about it, caresses it, sleeps with it, celebrates it. It is one of his favorite toys and his most steadfast love. (Jokes Quotes) I’m one of the most insecure people in the world, always have been, and when you’re a fat kid, you try to make the fat jokes before other people make them. (Jokes Quotes) Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people. (Jokes Quotes) Audiences of critical thinkers are my favorite kinds of audiences. There are jokes I tell in the show that don’t get laughs unless I am in front of an audience of critical thinkers. Put me in front of a crowd of science teachers or astronauts! The guileless aren’t our audience - it’s the critical thinkers we love. (Jokes Quotes) Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo? (Jokes Quotes) I never was shy, but as far as telling jokes, I’m the worst. I like physical comedy; it’s where I feel comfortable. (Jokes Quotes) I was feeling guilty in the beginning; it was frustrating to be successful when a lot of my friends weren’t. Also, I was constantly being reminded of that by people in my family making jokes. (Jokes Quotes) I don’t think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don’t leave feeling too dark. (Jokes Quotes) I just often find myself getting shrill, angry and the jokes get more incredulous (Jokes Quotes) For generations comedians have made jokes about Scots-Irish in the South inter-breeding. I am my own grandpa and all that stuff; you know, because they all were marrying their first cousins. (Jokes Quotes) Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. (Jokes Quotes) I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you’re allowed to make jokes. I don’t want to live in some PC world where no-one’s allowed to say anything. (Jokes Quotes) The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I’m supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun. (Jokes Quotes) Friends are everything. They’re people you can tell anything to, do fun stuff with, laugh at the same jokes with, who understand what you’re going through ‘cause they’re going through it, too. Friends get it. (Jokes Quotes) Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I’m pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I’m not sure because I think you broke my funny bone. (Jokes Quotes) Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it’s not jokes that are funny, it’s characters that are funny. And isn’t that true! That’s why I always kill jokes. I’m terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can’t get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. (Jokes Quotes) I don’t laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny. (Jokes Quotes) It’s like love making, the foreplay is the biggest part, the same thing as comedy. If you can frame your show in such a way that the funny jokes become funnier. (Jokes Quotes) I was worried on a personal level because I wanted to be slightly taller than I am, ideally. But I’ve now accepted it. Basically, I came to the conclusion a while ago that you can either be really bitter about it or you can make loads of funny jokes. (Jokes Quotes) Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I’m walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw. (Jokes Quotes)

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