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Jokes Quotes

I’m not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny Picture Quote #1

If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty Picture Quote #1

I’m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they’re not funny. I end up saying, ‘Oh, no, I’m joking, I’m joking.’ Picture Quote #1

I’m not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them Picture Quote #1

I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit Picture Quote #1

I can’t find someone funny whom I don’t like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn’t find it funny at all Picture Quote #1

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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny Picture Quote #1

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day Picture Quote #1

As an actor, it’s always fun when you’re able to feel like there’s freedom to explore things and try out jokes and be funny Picture Quote #1

Donald Trump was very receptive. Funny. Cracked some jokes. And understand it very well. And said he was in that he would work with us Picture Quote #1

I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don’t think they’re funny and the non-lawyers don’t think they’re jokes Picture Quote #1

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world Picture Quote #1

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Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can’t write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself Picture Quote #1

Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I’m fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string Picture Quote #1

What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don’t actually have a joke. I don’t tell jokes much. I tell little stories Picture Quote #1

Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the movies. You start to have inside jokes and gallows humor. You have all kinds of things you laugh at, but as soon as you tell somebody, the joke falls flat because they don’t know the context of it Picture Quote #1

Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it’s different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me Picture Quote #1

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves Picture Quote #1

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I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that’s it Picture Quote #1

Democrats are like a big tortoise that’s on its back and can’t get up; you can’t make jokes about that Picture Quote #1

I still haven’t found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet Picture Quote #1

I’ll be 56 this year, I’ve got two kids, and I think it’s probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes Picture Quote #1

When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God Picture Quote #1

I want to be on a show that’s not sensitive to racial jokes; I want to be on one where they call me everything and I call them right back. There’s blatant racism going both ways. That’s what we need Picture Quote #1

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I never get tired of ‘It Was A Good Day’ references or jokes or anything like that. It’s just, you know, keeping my biggest hit alive. Nothing wrong with that Picture Quote #1

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn’t give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn’t seem right Picture Quote #1

I don’t like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel Picture Quote #1

I used to always crack jokes in class. I was a good liar and a good talker. I was just good. I was my father’s son. I was slick. When it comes to knowing what to say, to charm, I always had it Picture Quote #1

When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that’s where all the good stories come from. That’s where the jokes come from is from the shitty parts Picture Quote #1

A good team needs three things: the right people, the right spirit, and a couple inside jokes Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny. (Jokes Quotes) If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty. (Jokes Quotes) I’m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they’re not funny. I end up saying, ‘Oh, no, I’m joking, I’m joking.’ (Jokes Quotes) I’m not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them (Jokes Quotes) I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit. (Jokes Quotes) I can’t find someone funny whom I don’t like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn’t find it funny at all. (Jokes Quotes) Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny. (Jokes Quotes) Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. (Jokes Quotes) As an actor, it’s always fun when you’re able to feel like there’s freedom to explore things and try out jokes and be funny. (Jokes Quotes) Donald Trump was very receptive. Funny. Cracked some jokes. And understand it very well. And said he was in that he would work with us. (Jokes Quotes) I find that when I tell lawyer jokes to a mixed audience, the lawyers don’t think they’re funny and the non-lawyers don’t think they’re jokes. (Jokes Quotes) Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. (Jokes Quotes) Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can’t write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself. (Jokes Quotes) Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I’m fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string. (Jokes Quotes) What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don’t actually have a joke. I don’t tell jokes much. I tell little stories. (Jokes Quotes) Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the movies. You start to have inside jokes and gallows humor. You have all kinds of things you laugh at, but as soon as you tell somebody, the joke falls flat because they don’t know the context of it. (Jokes Quotes) Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it’s different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me. (Jokes Quotes) The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves. (Jokes Quotes) I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that’s it. (Jokes Quotes) Democrats are like a big tortoise that’s on its back and can’t get up; you can’t make jokes about that. (Jokes Quotes) I still haven’t found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet. (Jokes Quotes) I’ll be 56 this year, I’ve got two kids, and I think it’s probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. (Jokes Quotes) When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God. (Jokes Quotes) I want to be on a show that’s not sensitive to racial jokes; I want to be on one where they call me everything and I call them right back. There’s blatant racism going both ways. That’s what we need. (Jokes Quotes) I never get tired of ‘It Was A Good Day’ references or jokes or anything like that. It’s just, you know, keeping my biggest hit alive. Nothing wrong with that. (Jokes Quotes) Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn’t give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn’t seem right. (Jokes Quotes) I don’t like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel. (Jokes Quotes) I used to always crack jokes in class. I was a good liar and a good talker. I was just good. I was my father’s son. I was slick. When it comes to knowing what to say, to charm, I always had it. (Jokes Quotes) When you put yourself in environments that continually test you, that’s where all the good stories come from. That’s where the jokes come from is from the shitty parts. (Jokes Quotes) A good team needs three things: the right people, the right spirit, and a couple inside jokes (Jokes Quotes)

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