|

|

Advertisements

Jokes Quotes

He was a man who knew there were such things as jokes in the world or people would not write about them, but had never actually been introduced to one or shaken its hand Picture Quote #1

Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first - before it boomerangs Picture Quote #1

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes Picture Quote #1

There are passages of the bible that are soiled forever by the touches of the hands of ministers who delight in the cheap jokes they have left behind them Picture Quote #1

From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked Picture Quote #1

Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

It's the times we're so crazy, that people think we're high. It's the times we laugh so hard, we can't help but cry. It's all the inside jokes and remember whens, those are all the reasons that we're best friends! Picture Quote #1

You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers! Picture Quote #1

Full well they laughed, with counterfeited glee, at all his jokes, for many a joke had he: Full well the busy whisper, circling round, convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd Picture Quote #1

Pain is beyond reason, an obliterating giant stupidity to which all your history of jokes and nuance and ideas and caresses is nothing, simply nothing Picture Quote #1

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant Picture Quote #1

We've got people looking at our seamy side and our sad side a lot of the time because that's easier. It's much more difficult to make a film about happiness with lots of jokes in it Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few jokes Picture Quote #1

You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes Picture Quote #1

And maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes Picture Quote #1

Like when Jay Leno made jokes about Koreans eating dog, but the hidden messages, our invisibility, is more harmful to us than any of those fools on board Picture Quote #1

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time Picture Quote #1

I'm very proud of being Jewish. It means I have a good work ethic, and you get Jewish humour and you're allowed to tell Jewish jokes Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb - and I'm not blonde either Picture Quote #1

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories Picture Quote #1

I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd Picture Quote #1

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion Picture Quote #1

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives Picture Quote #1

When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was nothing goes right. Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on Picture Quote #1

I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humour. As I see it, this is a typically English form of humour. It's a piece with such jokes as the one about the man who was being led to the gallows to be hanged. He looked at the trap door in the gallows, which was flimsily constructed, and he asked in some alarm, 'I say, is that thing safe?' Picture Quote #1

Forgive, o lord, my little jokes on thee, and I'll forgive thy great big joke on me Picture Quote #1

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves Picture Quote #1

I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease Picture Quote #1

I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - 24

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

He was a man who knew there were such things as jokes in the world or people would not write about them, but had never actually been introduced to one or shaken its hand (Jokes Quotes) Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first - before it boomerangs (Jokes Quotes) It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes (Jokes Quotes) There are passages of the bible that are soiled forever by the touches of the hands of ministers who delight in the cheap jokes they have left behind them (Jokes Quotes) From as long as, literally as far back as I can remember I've liked puns, word jokes, I can literally recall looking at a comic at the age of six or seven and I remember what I enjoyed and what it was precisely and how the joke worked (Jokes Quotes) Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this office (Jokes Quotes) It's the times we're so crazy, that people think we're high. It's the times we laugh so hard, we can't help but cry. It's all the inside jokes and remember whens, those are all the reasons that we're best friends! (Jokes Quotes) You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica Seinfeld puts spinach in kids' brownies. Suckers! (Jokes Quotes) Full well they laughed, with counterfeited glee, at all his jokes, for many a joke had he: Full well the busy whisper, circling round, convey'd the dismal tidings when he frown'd (Jokes Quotes) Pain is beyond reason, an obliterating giant stupidity to which all your history of jokes and nuance and ideas and caresses is nothing, simply nothing (Jokes Quotes) Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant (Jokes Quotes) We've got people looking at our seamy side and our sad side a lot of the time because that's easier. It's much more difficult to make a film about happiness with lots of jokes in it (Jokes Quotes) Maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few jokes (Jokes Quotes) You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes (Jokes Quotes) And maybe that's just what happens; you start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes (Jokes Quotes) Like when Jay Leno made jokes about Koreans eating dog, but the hidden messages, our invisibility, is more harmful to us than any of those fools on board (Jokes Quotes) To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time (Jokes Quotes) I'm very proud of being Jewish. It means I have a good work ethic, and you get Jewish humour and you're allowed to tell Jewish jokes (Jokes Quotes) I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb - and I'm not blonde either (Jokes Quotes) There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories (Jokes Quotes) I'm not good at anything except writing jokes. I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't good at anything artsy, ever. I think there was a real worry for a while about what I would be good at. I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd (Jokes Quotes) We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion (Jokes Quotes) Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives (Jokes Quotes) When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was nothing goes right. Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes (Jokes Quotes) I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on (Jokes Quotes) I try to offset any tendency towards the macabre with humour. As I see it, this is a typically English form of humour. It's a piece with such jokes as the one about the man who was being led to the gallows to be hanged. He looked at the trap door in the gallows, which was flimsily constructed, and he asked in some alarm, 'I say, is that thing safe?' (Jokes Quotes) Forgive, o lord, my little jokes on thee, and I'll forgive thy great big joke on me (Jokes Quotes) The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves (Jokes Quotes) I may make jokes about Microsoft at times, but at the same time, I think the Microsoft hatred is a disease (Jokes Quotes) I enjoy making people laugh. The trick is to tell them jokes against yourself. If you praise yourself, your stories aren't funny (Jokes Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 - 24