|

|

Advertisements

Jokes Quotes

I don’t really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn’t really a joke, just tiny moments Picture Quote #1

We should have stories in common, I found myself thinking. We should have stories, and jokes no one understands, and memories that we know will stay alive because neither of us will let the other forget Picture Quote #1

If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things Picture Quote #1

He loved me. He’d loved me as long as he he’d known me! I hadn’t loved him as long perhaps, but now I loved him equally well, or better. I loved his laugh, his handwriting, his steady gaze, his honorableness, his freckles, his appreciation of my jokes, his hands, his determination that I should know the worst of him. And, most of all, shameful though it might be, I loved his love for me Picture Quote #1

I myself am convinced that the theory of evolution, especially to the extent to which it has been applied, will be one of the greatest jokes in the history books of the future. Posterity will marvel that so very flimsy and dubious an hypothesis could be accepted with the incredible credulity it has Picture Quote #1

And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

They can crack jokes. They can sit back and analyze and criticize and make all the fun they want. But I’m living my life, I’m doing it. What are you doing? Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to be with someone boring because I’m always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic Picture Quote #1

I don’t have to write jokes. I don’t have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my mere existence is clearly insult enough Picture Quote #1

Many gamblers think they’re being singled out by fate as a target for cruel jokes. They feel they alone in all the universe are being tortured, experimented upon by some unknown force Picture Quote #1

There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which is difficult Picture Quote #1

It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone’s expense Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I’ve never had sex. Never wanted to. Not with a man or a woman or an animal, though my family jokes about it. And I never will. The thought of it disgusts me Picture Quote #1

Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes Picture Quote #1

Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel bad, and I don’t want to make their problems into a joke. I do love telling people when they’re right and wrong, but for the most part, it was always going to be about real fights where people have a real difference of opinion and a real dispute. I want to make jokes, but I also want to make a decision that is fair Picture Quote #1

If I hadn’t been told I was garbage, I wouldn’t have learned how to show people I’m talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn’t have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable Picture Quote #1

Writing is for stories to be read, books to be published, poems to be recited, plays to be acted, songs to be sung, newspapers to be shared, letters to be mailed, jokes to be told, notes to be passed, recipes to be cooked, messages to be exchanged, memos to be circulated, announcements to be posted, bills to be collected, posters to be displayed and diaries to be concealed. Writing is for ideas, action, reflection, and experience. It is not for having your ignorance exposed, your sensitivity destroyed, or your ability assessed Picture Quote #1

Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regimen of the patient’s life for joy and happiness by promising that he will soon be well, by allowing his relatives and special friends to cheer him and by having someone tell him jokes, and let him be solaced also by music on the viol or psaltery. The surgeon must forbid anger, hatred, and sadness in the patient, and remind him that the body grows fat from joy and thin from sadness Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

There are things you do when you’re writing that are so fun to do it’s almost like they’re private jokes that are amusing to you but no one else is going to enjoy them nearly as much and you worry you’re going to have to take them out in the end Picture Quote #1

I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes Picture Quote #1

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself Picture Quote #1

I can’t tell a joke to save my soul. It’s just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes Picture Quote #1

I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly hates them. Be the weird person. Be the interesting person, the person that sometimes says inappropriate things or laughs too loud at jokes, and have your home reflect who you are Picture Quote #1

I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world Picture Quote #1

My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me Picture Quote #1

Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom Picture Quote #1

I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit Picture Quote #1

There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind Picture Quote #1

I have jokes I’ve told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd Picture Quote #1

1 - 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 - 24

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

I don’t really like jokes in a way. I mean gags are fine but I like weird moments where what you have isn’t really a joke, just tiny moments (Jokes Quotes) We should have stories in common, I found myself thinking. We should have stories, and jokes no one understands, and memories that we know will stay alive because neither of us will let the other forget (Jokes Quotes) If you can’t joke about the most horrendous things in the world, what’s the point of jokes? What’s the point in having humor? Humor is to get us over terrible things (Jokes Quotes) He loved me. He’d loved me as long as he he’d known me! I hadn’t loved him as long perhaps, but now I loved him equally well, or better. I loved his laugh, his handwriting, his steady gaze, his honorableness, his freckles, his appreciation of my jokes, his hands, his determination that I should know the worst of him. And, most of all, shameful though it might be, I loved his love for me (Jokes Quotes) I myself am convinced that the theory of evolution, especially to the extent to which it has been applied, will be one of the greatest jokes in the history books of the future. Posterity will marvel that so very flimsy and dubious an hypothesis could be accepted with the incredible credulity it has (Jokes Quotes) And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh (Jokes Quotes) They can crack jokes. They can sit back and analyze and criticize and make all the fun they want. But I’m living my life, I’m doing it. What are you doing? (Jokes Quotes) I don’t want to be with someone boring because I’m always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic (Jokes Quotes) I don’t have to write jokes. I don’t have to write insults. If you ask the man of the hour in the hot seat, my mere existence is clearly insult enough (Jokes Quotes) Many gamblers think they’re being singled out by fate as a target for cruel jokes. They feel they alone in all the universe are being tortured, experimented upon by some unknown force (Jokes Quotes) There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which is difficult (Jokes Quotes) It’s a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody’s expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone’s expense (Jokes Quotes) I’ve never had sex. Never wanted to. Not with a man or a woman or an animal, though my family jokes about it. And I never will. The thought of it disgusts me (Jokes Quotes) Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes (Jokes Quotes) Tonally, there was no discussion; I just don’t know any other way to do it. I don’t want to make people feel bad, and I don’t want to make their problems into a joke. I do love telling people when they’re right and wrong, but for the most part, it was always going to be about real fights where people have a real difference of opinion and a real dispute. I want to make jokes, but I also want to make a decision that is fair (Jokes Quotes) If I hadn’t been told I was garbage, I wouldn’t have learned how to show people I’m talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn’t have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn’t told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn’t tried to break me down, I wouldn’t know that I’m unbreakable (Jokes Quotes) Writing is for stories to be read, books to be published, poems to be recited, plays to be acted, songs to be sung, newspapers to be shared, letters to be mailed, jokes to be told, notes to be passed, recipes to be cooked, messages to be exchanged, memos to be circulated, announcements to be posted, bills to be collected, posters to be displayed and diaries to be concealed. Writing is for ideas, action, reflection, and experience. It is not for having your ignorance exposed, your sensitivity destroyed, or your ability assessed (Jokes Quotes) Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regimen of the patient’s life for joy and happiness by promising that he will soon be well, by allowing his relatives and special friends to cheer him and by having someone tell him jokes, and let him be solaced also by music on the viol or psaltery. The surgeon must forbid anger, hatred, and sadness in the patient, and remind him that the body grows fat from joy and thin from sadness (Jokes Quotes) There are things you do when you’re writing that are so fun to do it’s almost like they’re private jokes that are amusing to you but no one else is going to enjoy them nearly as much and you worry you’re going to have to take them out in the end (Jokes Quotes) I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes (Jokes Quotes) Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself (Jokes Quotes) I can’t tell a joke to save my soul. It’s just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes (Jokes Quotes) I believe that a perfect house is like a perfect person; no one really wants to be around them and everyone secretly hates them. Be the weird person. Be the interesting person, the person that sometimes says inappropriate things or laughs too loud at jokes, and have your home reflect who you are (Jokes Quotes) I like things that are immature and offbeat and bizarre. Random jokes. Weird stuff. And stupid. Stupid is the highest compliment a person can pay to me (Jokes Quotes) A comedian is someone who tells the truth. Truth is the set of all jokes told by all comedians in the world (Jokes Quotes) My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me (Jokes Quotes) Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom (Jokes Quotes) I don’t know why I get away with some things. But I’m not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit (Jokes Quotes) There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind (Jokes Quotes) I have jokes I’ve told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd (Jokes Quotes)

1 - 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 - 24