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Jon Stewart Quotes

What I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages Picture Quote #1

Typically, when you’re with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you’re on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line Picture Quote #1

Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It’s using the energy Picture Quote #1

The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling Picture Quote #1

I’m not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else Picture Quote #1

If you watch the news and don’t like it, then this is your counter program to the news Picture Quote #1

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If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don’t have a regime Picture Quote #1

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don’t go hungry, you’re a moocher? Picture Quote #1

Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people Picture Quote #1

The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective Picture Quote #1

I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything Picture Quote #1

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about Picture Quote #1

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I don’t approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected Picture Quote #1

How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won’t. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience Picture Quote #1

I have not moved out of the comedian’s box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me Picture Quote #1

Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons Picture Quote #1

You’ve confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want Picture Quote #1

It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights as someone else Picture Quote #1

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It’s harder to eat meat when you know the animal’s name... I have found Picture Quote #1

Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight Picture Quote #1

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things Picture Quote #1

The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never Picture Quote #1

The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I’m advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians Picture Quote #1

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency Picture Quote #1

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And our show has changed. I don’t doubt that. and what it has become I don’t know Picture Quote #1

Between the two of them, I can’t decide which one I’d rather see in jail Picture Quote #1

That was our show! I hope that was as uncomfortable to watch as it was to do Picture Quote #1

Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That’s it. That’s the only requirement Picture Quote #1

I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

What I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages (Jon Stewart Quotes) Typically, when you’re with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you’re on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line (Jon Stewart Quotes) Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It’s using the energy (Jon Stewart Quotes) The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling (Jon Stewart Quotes) I’m not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else (Jon Stewart Quotes) If you watch the news and don’t like it, then this is your counter program to the news (Jon Stewart Quotes) If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don’t have a regime (Jon Stewart Quotes) Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you’re a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don’t go hungry, you’re a moocher? (Jon Stewart Quotes) Most world religions denounced war as a barbaric waste of human life. We treasured the teachings of these religions so dearly that we frequently had to wage war in order to impose them on other people (Jon Stewart Quotes) The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective (Jon Stewart Quotes) I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything (Jon Stewart Quotes) I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about (Jon Stewart Quotes) I don’t approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected (Jon Stewart Quotes) How do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire? The honest answer is this: You won’t. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience (Jon Stewart Quotes) I have not moved out of the comedian’s box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me (Jon Stewart Quotes) Who cares how we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons if we avoided a war and got a dictator to give up his chemical weapons (Jon Stewart Quotes) You’ve confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want (Jon Stewart Quotes) It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights as someone else (Jon Stewart Quotes) It’s harder to eat meat when you know the animal’s name... I have found (Jon Stewart Quotes) Fire up your heart for the wind is getting cold, now it always gets cold for the riders of the night. When you carry that dream when you know what lonesome is looking for a home like a bird in flight (Jon Stewart Quotes) You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things (Jon Stewart Quotes) The overwhelming condemnation makes it clear we have made enormous progress in teaching everyone that racism is bad. Where we seem to have dropped the ball... is in teaching people what racism actually is... which allows people to say incredibly racist things while insisting they would never (Jon Stewart Quotes) The press has bravely and nobly eroded the public trust... What I’m advocating is the media come work for us again. Remove themselves from the symbiotic relationship that they have developed with the power structure of corporations and of the politicians (Jon Stewart Quotes) College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don’t worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency (Jon Stewart Quotes) And our show has changed. I don’t doubt that. and what it has become I don’t know (Jon Stewart Quotes) Between the two of them, I can’t decide which one I’d rather see in jail (Jon Stewart Quotes) That was our show! I hope that was as uncomfortable to watch as it was to do (Jon Stewart Quotes) Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That’s it. That’s the only requirement (Jon Stewart Quotes) I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture (Jon Stewart Quotes)

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