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Kristen Schaal Quotes

‘Rock of Love’ with Bret Michaels was fun. He’s a lovable guy Picture Quote #1

Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn’t free Picture Quote #1

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome Picture Quote #1

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility! Picture Quote #1

My sensibilities are like, ‘I want it to be weirder.’ Picture Quote #1

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I’m starting to panic that I’m a ghost Picture Quote #1

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1st Valentine’s Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move Picture Quote #1

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on Picture Quote #1

Being a correspondent on ‘The Daily Show’ is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It’s a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role Picture Quote #1

I think it’s great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that’s exactly what you’ll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you’ll never be worried with a human audience Picture Quote #1

Mel: Does Bret’s girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she’s got eyes Picture Quote #1

All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground Picture Quote #1

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I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you’re at home trying to write anything you can. ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ was so wonderful because I had a family for two years Picture Quote #1

I probably shouldn’t say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I’ve hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they’re like a blank slate. I guess that’s why I like them. They’re puppets, and you can imagine them being anything you want Picture Quote #1

Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that’s nice. Kind of like bad weather Picture Quote #1

Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn’t layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the cows, and they would always just look at me blankly Picture Quote #1

I loved ‘Burning Love,’ and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches Picture Quote #1

You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for loving it. Like, ‘That’s gross, Kristen.’ Also, telling myself it could go away at any moment, and I’d be so sad Picture Quote #1

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The more women sit down and write something in a woman’s voice for a woman, they more you’ll see women in comedy because gender doesn’t define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do Picture Quote #1

My style can’t be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their sense of touch, taste, smell Picture Quote #1

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows Picture Quote #1

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up Picture Quote #1

Sarcasm doesn’t read sarcastic in print Picture Quote #1

As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex Picture Quote #1

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Everybody’s trying to leave their mark on the world. That’s why there’s graffiti and babies Picture Quote #1

I think I’ve always had a disconnect from what I’m supposed to be like Picture Quote #1

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life Picture Quote #1

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me Picture Quote #1

Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty Picture Quote #1

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

‘Rock of Love’ with Bret Michaels was fun. He’s a lovable guy. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn’t free (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome (Kristen Schaal Quotes) One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility! (Kristen Schaal Quotes) My sensibilities are like, ‘I want it to be weirder.’ (Kristen Schaal Quotes) The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I’m starting to panic that I’m a ghost (Kristen Schaal Quotes) 1st Valentine’s Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Being a correspondent on ‘The Daily Show’ is some combination of doing a character and doing stand-up. It’s a juggling act to find a balance between being you and playing a role. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I think it’s great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and just stare at you blankly. And that’s exactly what you’ll get at a comedy club. If you can toughen up with a cow audience, then you’ll never be worried with a human audience. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Mel: Does Bret’s girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she’s got eyes. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you’re at home trying to write anything you can. ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ was so wonderful because I had a family for two years. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I probably shouldn’t say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I’ve hung out with, and even when I go to the zoo usually, they’re like a blank slate. I guess that’s why I like them. They’re puppets, and you can imagine them being anything you want. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that’s nice. Kind of like bad weather. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Animals in general have sparked a weird depression in me, because as much as I tried, I couldn’t layer a personality over them. You know what I mean? I would stare at the cows, and I would sing to the cows, and they would always just look at me blankly. (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I loved ‘Burning Love,’ and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches (Kristen Schaal Quotes) You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for loving it. Like, ‘That’s gross, Kristen.’ Also, telling myself it could go away at any moment, and I’d be so sad (Kristen Schaal Quotes) The more women sit down and write something in a woman’s voice for a woman, they more you’ll see women in comedy because gender doesn’t define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do (Kristen Schaal Quotes) My style can’t be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need to have all their senses ready to take on my comedy, and unfortunately, TV alienates at least their sense of touch, taste, smell (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Sarcasm doesn’t read sarcastic in print (Kristen Schaal Quotes) As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Everybody’s trying to leave their mark on the world. That’s why there’s graffiti and babies (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I think I’ve always had a disconnect from what I’m supposed to be like (Kristen Schaal Quotes) I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life (Kristen Schaal Quotes) No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me (Kristen Schaal Quotes) Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty (Kristen Schaal Quotes)