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Les Dawson Quotes

You do something you’re really quite proud of, and the public doesn’t like it. Then you do something that perhaps you’re not at all happy with and the public loves it. And that’s the moment of truth, because it’s the audience that’s the final judge Picture Quote #1

There were no last words. His wife was with him to the end Picture Quote #1

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’ Picture Quote #1

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in Picture Quote #1

I’m often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she’s only got one major fault - it’s called breathing Picture Quote #1

The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, ‘Mother, don’t just stand there in the rain. Go home.’ Picture Quote #1

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked Picture Quote #1

Mind you, I’ve always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I’d whisper, ‘Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,’ and she’d say: ‘Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.’ Picture Quote #1

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig Picture Quote #1

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale Picture Quote #1

I went to the doctor last week. I said: ‘Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?’ He said: ‘Why?’ I said: ‘She’s woke up Picture Quote #1

I’ve just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it Picture Quote #1

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I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored Picture Quote #1

I’m not saying my mother didn’t like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate Picture Quote #1

I took the wife’s family out for tea biscuits. They weren’t too happy about having to give blood though Picture Quote #1

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up Picture Quote #1

Slumps don’t bother me Picture Quote #1

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects Picture Quote #1

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I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own Picture Quote #1

The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week Picture Quote #1

I know my name will always be linked with women Picture Quote #1

Marriage is an institution and that’s where a couple finishes up Picture Quote #1

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite Picture Quote #1

I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps Picture Quote #1

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I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored Picture Quote #1

Despite the fact that feminists say they’re not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful Picture Quote #1

I’ve just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it Picture Quote #1

With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever Picture Quote #1

I’m not saying my mother didn’t like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate Picture Quote #1

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

You do something you’re really quite proud of, and the public doesn’t like it. Then you do something that perhaps you’re not at all happy with and the public loves it. And that’s the moment of truth, because it’s the audience that’s the final judge. (Les Dawson Quotes) There were no last words. His wife was with him to the end (Les Dawson Quotes) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’ (Les Dawson Quotes) My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in (Les Dawson Quotes) I’m often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she’s only got one major fault - it’s called breathing (Les Dawson Quotes) The mother-in-law came round last week. It was absolutely pouring down. So I opened the door and I saw her there and I said, ‘Mother, don’t just stand there in the rain. Go home.’ (Les Dawson Quotes) My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked (Les Dawson Quotes) Mind you, I’ve always been musical... Mother used to sit me on her knee and I’d whisper, ‘Mummy, Mummy, sing me a lullaby do,’ and she’d say: ‘Certainly my angel, my wee bundle of happiness, hold my beer while I fetch me banjo.’ (Les Dawson Quotes) The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig (Les Dawson Quotes) My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale (Les Dawson Quotes) I went to the doctor last week. I said: ‘Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?’ He said: ‘Why?’ I said: ‘She’s woke up (Les Dawson Quotes) I’ve just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it. (Les Dawson Quotes) I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored. (Les Dawson Quotes) I’m not saying my mother didn’t like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate. (Les Dawson Quotes) I took the wife’s family out for tea biscuits. They weren’t too happy about having to give blood though. (Les Dawson Quotes) Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up (Les Dawson Quotes) Slumps don’t bother me (Les Dawson Quotes) My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects (Les Dawson Quotes) I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own (Les Dawson Quotes) The way prices are rising, the good old days are last week (Les Dawson Quotes) I know my name will always be linked with women (Les Dawson Quotes) Marriage is an institution and that’s where a couple finishes up (Les Dawson Quotes) I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite (Les Dawson Quotes) I can always tell when the mother in law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps (Les Dawson Quotes) I don’t mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored (Les Dawson Quotes) Despite the fact that feminists say they’re not getting a fair deal, women are still very powerful (Les Dawson Quotes) I’ve just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it (Les Dawson Quotes) With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever (Les Dawson Quotes) I’m not saying my mother didn’t like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate (Les Dawson Quotes) Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it (Les Dawson Quotes)

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