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Lewis Black Quotes

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing Picture Quote #1

The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really? Picture Quote #1

Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight Picture Quote #1

Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy Picture Quote #1

I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that Picture Quote #1

I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic Picture Quote #1

I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever Picture Quote #1

I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet Picture Quote #1

I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough Picture Quote #1

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not Picture Quote #1

I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time Picture Quote #1

I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute Picture Quote #1

If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' Picture Quote #1

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny Picture Quote #1

Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me Picture Quote #1

My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter Picture Quote #1

My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform Picture Quote #1

My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road Picture Quote #1

Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!' Picture Quote #1

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger Picture Quote #1

Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math! Picture Quote #1

Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise Picture Quote #1

The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope Picture Quote #1

The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either Picture Quote #1

The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine Picture Quote #1

This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars Picture Quote #1

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than it's fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out Picture Quote #1

You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal Picture Quote #1

If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row Picture Quote #1

The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Text Quotes

I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing (Lewis Black Quotes) The fear of health care changing is beyond belief. Like there's a way to make the system worse. Really? (Lewis Black Quotes) Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight (Lewis Black Quotes) Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy (Lewis Black Quotes) I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that (Lewis Black Quotes) I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic (Lewis Black Quotes) I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever (Lewis Black Quotes) I think the only reason you visit an Apple store is because you wonder what life is like on another planet (Lewis Black Quotes) I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough (Lewis Black Quotes) I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not (Lewis Black Quotes) I've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time (Lewis Black Quotes) I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute (Lewis Black Quotes) If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' (Lewis Black Quotes) Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny (Lewis Black Quotes) Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me (Lewis Black Quotes) My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter (Lewis Black Quotes) My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform (Lewis Black Quotes) My touring has never stopped; from the time I started doing stand-up, I've been on the road (Lewis Black Quotes) Nobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!' (Lewis Black Quotes) One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger (Lewis Black Quotes) Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math! (Lewis Black Quotes) Stand-up is the only thing in which you actually write it, act it and direct it simultaneously, so it's actually a great theater exercise (Lewis Black Quotes) The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope (Lewis Black Quotes) The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either (Lewis Black Quotes) The fine line that you do when you do political comedy is, as long as you have that laugh, you're fine (Lewis Black Quotes) This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars (Lewis Black Quotes) When it comes to idiots, America's got more than it's fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out (Lewis Black Quotes) You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal (Lewis Black Quotes) If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row (Lewis Black Quotes) The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable (Lewis Black Quotes)

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