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Mallory Ortberg Quotes

You don’t need to hide the fact that you’re in recovery, but you don’t have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either Picture Quote #1

Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it’s slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn’t be causing you any torment Picture Quote #1

You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn’t damage your partner Picture Quote #1

You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it’s your supervisor’s job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely Picture Quote #1

I don’t know of any way to control the subject of one’s dreams although I’m fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic Picture Quote #1

Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don’t worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they’re over; let them go Picture Quote #1

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Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it’s hypocrisy Picture Quote #1

There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful Picture Quote #1

Kids know when they’re getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you Picture Quote #1

I hate to get gender essentialist, but I’m starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion Picture Quote #1

Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure Picture Quote #1

I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I’m disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That’s a really gross metaphor Picture Quote #1

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After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that’s my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites Picture Quote #1

Ghost! I miss him! Is that weird? I miss him even though I invented him. I feel a lot of tenderness toward him. I don’t write a lot of stuff that is sad or that is tender and affectionate, so that has a very special place in my heart Picture Quote #1

I love reading religious authors. Especially in the sort of circle I move in, people tend to be more secular, and I love reading books by just really smart people of religious faith. It’s always a really cool perspective Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

You don’t need to hide the fact that you’re in recovery, but you don’t have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Five-foot-8 is a perfectly normal height for a woman - it’s slightly but not at all unusually tall and certainly shouldn’t be causing you any torment (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) You need to be able to express your resentment and sense of loss in a way that doesn’t damage your partner (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it’s your supervisor’s job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) I don’t know of any way to control the subject of one’s dreams although I’m fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don’t worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they’re over; let them go (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it’s hypocrisy (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Kids know when they’re getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) I hate to get gender essentialist, but I’m starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I’m disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That’s a really gross metaphor (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that’s my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) Ghost! I miss him! Is that weird? I miss him even though I invented him. I feel a lot of tenderness toward him. I don’t write a lot of stuff that is sad or that is tender and affectionate, so that has a very special place in my heart (Mallory Ortberg Quotes) I love reading religious authors. Especially in the sort of circle I move in, people tend to be more secular, and I love reading books by just really smart people of religious faith. It’s always a really cool perspective (Mallory Ortberg Quotes)

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