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Maria Bamford Quotes

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings Picture Quote #1

When you’re a comedian, you’re just by yourself Picture Quote #1

It’s always the compliments from people you love that mean so much Picture Quote #1

Here’s the Middle East. Here’s the mosque, here’s the church, open the temple, everybody’s MAD! Picture Quote #1

Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God’s sake. There are people creating things just outside your window Picture Quote #1

My mom is very religious and she said, ‘Whatever you think about all the time, that’s what you worship.’ If that’s the case I’d like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli Picture Quote #1

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I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It’s nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I’m solo for the most part Picture Quote #1

I’ve learned from my pets that it’s okay to sit around, and people don’t love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, ‘cos they always know where you’re always going to be: you’re always going to be laying in bed Picture Quote #1

I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather Picture Quote #1

The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes and Noble Picture Quote #1

My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister’s website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets Picture Quote #1

I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody’s jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part Picture Quote #1

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I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you’re cold, or that you’re suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later Picture Quote #1

Even if you’re disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you’re gross, you know, keep doing what you love! Picture Quote #1

I think you can lose yourself in any creative activity - if you enjoy your job or enjoy a task, you can lose yourself in that Picture Quote #1

I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of ‘I found this!’ and then you can pass it to friends Picture Quote #1

I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I’m impatient. It’s very charming Picture Quote #1

I’m sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I’m following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it Picture Quote #1

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I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too Picture Quote #1

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty Picture Quote #1

Even if you’re disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you’re gross, you know, keep doing what you love Picture Quote #1

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry Picture Quote #1

If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite Picture Quote #1

If I keep the kitchen floor clean, no one will die! Picture Quote #1

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I have a hard time with interviews, because I’d rather hear about the interviewer Picture Quote #1

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that’s why they make fun of things all of the time Picture Quote #1

I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It’s like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I’m doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better Picture Quote #1

The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can’t think of it Picture Quote #1

Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices Picture Quote #1

People get really irritated by mental illness Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I love support groups, people talking about their feelings (Maria Bamford Quotes) When you’re a comedian, you’re just by yourself (Maria Bamford Quotes) It’s always the compliments from people you love that mean so much (Maria Bamford Quotes) Here’s the Middle East. Here’s the mosque, here’s the church, open the temple, everybody’s MAD! (Maria Bamford Quotes) Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God’s sake. There are people creating things just outside your window (Maria Bamford Quotes) My mom is very religious and she said, ‘Whatever you think about all the time, that’s what you worship.’ If that’s the case I’d like everyone to pop open their Diet Coke cans and turn to page 37 of their People Magazines. In this holy scripture, we read the parable of Ms. Valerie Bertinelli (Maria Bamford Quotes) I love festivals because they seem like more of an artsy, supportive attitude - which benefits a more theatrical performer sometimes with having theater and other non-club venues, as well as the audience being filled with other artists. It’s nice to be with other comics, as usually at other road gigs, I’m solo for the most part (Maria Bamford Quotes) I’ve learned from my pets that it’s okay to sit around, and people don’t love you any less if you sit around all the time. In fact they might love you more, ‘cos they always know where you’re always going to be: you’re always going to be laying in bed (Maria Bamford Quotes) I feel bad about that, that I worship celebrities... but their moods create weather. (Maria Bamford Quotes) The bigger the crowds get, the more nervous I get. I actually am very comfortable with a half-filled room of people who are slightly disinterested and are irritated at a Barnes and Noble. (Maria Bamford Quotes) My dad actually had business cards made up with my sister’s website and my website and all of our information. And he hands them out to people he meets. (Maria Bamford Quotes) I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody’s jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and I just love that part (Maria Bamford Quotes) I was raised in Duluth, Minnesota, where you never say that you’re cold, or that you’re suffering, and you listen politely to people, even if you disagree with them completely. Then you say passive-aggressive things later. (Maria Bamford Quotes) Even if you’re disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you’re gross, you know, keep doing what you love! (Maria Bamford Quotes) I think you can lose yourself in any creative activity - if you enjoy your job or enjoy a task, you can lose yourself in that. (Maria Bamford Quotes) I think the Internet has made it easier for people to connect with things that they really like, as well as provide a more personal experience, of ‘I found this!’ and then you can pass it to friends. (Maria Bamford Quotes) I get sort of short with people and start grumbling and clearing my throat - in honor of my father - when I’m impatient. It’s very charming. (Maria Bamford Quotes) I’m sort of shy, and Twitter feels like chatting all day with a group. I like to follow people. I’m following Joel Osteen, Steve Martin, and an anonymous purple egg - just to see where they go with it. (Maria Bamford Quotes) I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don’t wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too. (Maria Bamford Quotes) Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty (Maria Bamford Quotes) Even if you’re disgusting, and everyone is creeped out by you and thinks you’re gross, you know, keep doing what you love (Maria Bamford Quotes) Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I’m so hungry (Maria Bamford Quotes) If you stay alive for no other reason do it for spite (Maria Bamford Quotes) If I keep the kitchen floor clean, no one will die! (Maria Bamford Quotes) I have a hard time with interviews, because I’d rather hear about the interviewer (Maria Bamford Quotes) As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that’s why they make fun of things all of the time (Maria Bamford Quotes) I do some compassionate mindfulness every day. It’s like a Buddhist thing. I tell myself that I’m doing a good job, that kind of thing. It makes me feel better (Maria Bamford Quotes) The thing that keeps the thoughts coming back is the power that you put in the thought that you can’t think of it (Maria Bamford Quotes) Schizophrenia is hearing voices, not doing voices (Maria Bamford Quotes) People get really irritated by mental illness (Maria Bamford Quotes)

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