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Mark Twain Quotes

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie Picture Quote #1

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t Picture Quote #1

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it’s efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read- Picture Quote #1

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents? Picture Quote #1

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime Picture Quote #1

There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different Picture Quote #1

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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities! Picture Quote #1

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile Picture Quote #1

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them Picture Quote #1

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance Picture Quote #1

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God’s fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect Picture Quote #1

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world Picture Quote #1

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There is no such thing as the Queen’s English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares! Picture Quote #1

We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier God than Heredity Privilege Picture Quote #1

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night Picture Quote #1

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live Picture Quote #1

Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration Picture Quote #1

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; Picture Quote #1

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Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out Picture Quote #1

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten Picture Quote #1

There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here Picture Quote #1

What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval Picture Quote #1

What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it Picture Quote #1

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press’s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press Picture Quote #1

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America’s Facebook generation shows a submission to standardization that I haven’t seen before. The American adventure has always been about people forgetting their former selves - Samuel Clemens became Mark Twain, Jack Kerouac went on the road. If they had a Facebook page, they wouldn’t have been able to forget their former selves Picture Quote #1

Mark Twain was very unhappy with himself for various reasons. He was very unhappy with America of this time. He thought it was terrible we had no anti-lynching laws, and he was also a feminist, and he was also very concerned with anti-Semitism. He was a good man, but he was hard on himself Picture Quote #1

I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I’d lay my cards down on that, and say that it’s that that I’m trying to do Picture Quote #1

I bought a book of Mark Twain quotes. That’s about my speed. I’ll read a couple quotes and put it down Picture Quote #1

Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? Picture Quote #1

How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie (Mark Twain Quotes) I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won’t (Mark Twain Quotes) We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it’s efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read- (Mark Twain Quotes) In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents? (Mark Twain Quotes) Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime (Mark Twain Quotes) There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different (Mark Twain Quotes) There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities! (Mark Twain Quotes) Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile (Mark Twain Quotes) Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them (Mark Twain Quotes) I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance (Mark Twain Quotes) I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God’s fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect (Mark Twain Quotes) Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world (Mark Twain Quotes) There is no such thing as the Queen’s English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares! (Mark Twain Quotes) We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier God than Heredity Privilege (Mark Twain Quotes) Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night (Mark Twain Quotes) No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live (Mark Twain Quotes) Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration (Mark Twain Quotes) O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; (Mark Twain Quotes) Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out (Mark Twain Quotes) The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten (Mark Twain Quotes) There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and the Associated Press down here (Mark Twain Quotes) What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval (Mark Twain Quotes) What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it (Mark Twain Quotes) There are laws to protect the freedom of the press’s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press (Mark Twain Quotes) America’s Facebook generation shows a submission to standardization that I haven’t seen before. The American adventure has always been about people forgetting their former selves - Samuel Clemens became Mark Twain, Jack Kerouac went on the road. If they had a Facebook page, they wouldn’t have been able to forget their former selves (Mark Twain Quotes) Mark Twain was very unhappy with himself for various reasons. He was very unhappy with America of this time. He thought it was terrible we had no anti-lynching laws, and he was also a feminist, and he was also very concerned with anti-Semitism. He was a good man, but he was hard on himself (Mark Twain Quotes) I particularly admire are Mark Twain and Jerome K. Jerome who wrote in a certain tone of voice which was humane and understanding of humanity, but always ready to annotate its little foibles. I think I’d lay my cards down on that, and say that it’s that that I’m trying to do (Mark Twain Quotes) I bought a book of Mark Twain quotes. That’s about my speed. I’ll read a couple quotes and put it down (Mark Twain Quotes) Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? (Mark Twain Quotes) How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good (Mark Twain Quotes)

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