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Mark Twain Quotes

When I’m playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder Picture Quote #1

In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don’t believe it would sound any better if it were true Picture Quote #1

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Mark Twain Women are an alien race set down among us Picture Quote #1

As one boy said, ‘I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they’re all that bad, how come I’m so wonderful’ Picture Quote #1

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God’s adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by Picture Quote #1

I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently Picture Quote #1

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It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time Picture Quote #1

India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire Picture Quote #1

Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German Picture Quote #1

Carlyle said ‘a lie cannot live.’ It shows that he did not know how to tell them Picture Quote #1

King Arthur and his armored goons of the Round Table functioned as the Politburo of a slave state: Camelot. Of all who have written on the Matter of Arthur, from Malory to White, only Mark Twain understood this. But Mark Twain was a great writer Picture Quote #1

I wrote ‘Tom Sawyer’ and ‘Huck Finn’ for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean Picture Quote #1

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Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain] Picture Quote #1

I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman Picture Quote #1

It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval Picture Quote #1

Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane Picture Quote #1

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn’t have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn Picture Quote #1

Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson Picture Quote #1

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Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan? Picture Quote #1

No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done Picture Quote #1

It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one Picture Quote #1

He wa’n’t no common dog, he wa’n’t no mongrel; he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that’s in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that’s left over Picture Quote #1

The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting Picture Quote #1

Mark Twain on George Ade’s writing: I have been reading him [Ade] again, and my admiration overflows all limits. How effortless the limning! It is as if the work did itself, without help of the master’s hand Picture Quote #1

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The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there’s no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again Picture Quote #1

Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can’t print the results Picture Quote #1

The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise Picture Quote #1

I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair Picture Quote #1

The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny Picture Quote #1

Write about winter in the summer. Describe Norway as Ibsen did, from a desk in Italy; describe Dublin as James Joyce did, from a desk in Paris. Willa Cather wrote her prairie novels in New York City; Mark Twain wrote Huckleberry Finn in Hartford, Connecticut. Recently, scholars learned that Walt Whitman rarely left his room Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

When I’m playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder (Mark Twain Quotes) In God We Trust. It is the choicest compliment that has ever been paid us, and the most gratifying to our feelings. It is simple, direct, gracefully phrased; it always sounds well - In God We Trust. I don’t believe it would sound any better if it were true (Mark Twain Quotes) What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Mark Twain Women are an alien race set down among us (Mark Twain Quotes) As one boy said, ‘I was thinking all these horrible thoughts about my parents when suddenly it hit me-if they’re all that bad, how come I’m so wonderful’ (Mark Twain Quotes) You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God’s adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by (Mark Twain Quotes) I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently (Mark Twain Quotes) It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time (Mark Twain Quotes) India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire (Mark Twain Quotes) Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German (Mark Twain Quotes) Carlyle said ‘a lie cannot live.’ It shows that he did not know how to tell them (Mark Twain Quotes) King Arthur and his armored goons of the Round Table functioned as the Politburo of a slave state: Camelot. Of all who have written on the Matter of Arthur, from Malory to White, only Mark Twain understood this. But Mark Twain was a great writer (Mark Twain Quotes) I wrote ‘Tom Sawyer’ and ‘Huck Finn’ for adults exclusively, and it always distressed me when I find that boys and girls have been allowed access to them. The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean (Mark Twain Quotes) Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most [borrowed from Mark Twain] (Mark Twain Quotes) I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman (Mark Twain Quotes) It is our nature to conform; it is a force which not many can successfully resist. What is its seat? The inborn requirement of self-approval (Mark Twain Quotes) Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane (Mark Twain Quotes) If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn’t have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn (Mark Twain Quotes) Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson (Mark Twain Quotes) Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan? (Mark Twain Quotes) No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done (Mark Twain Quotes) It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one (Mark Twain Quotes) He wa’n’t no common dog, he wa’n’t no mongrel; he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that’s in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that’s left over (Mark Twain Quotes) The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting (Mark Twain Quotes) Mark Twain on George Ade’s writing: I have been reading him [Ade] again, and my admiration overflows all limits. How effortless the limning! It is as if the work did itself, without help of the master’s hand (Mark Twain Quotes) The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there’s no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again (Mark Twain Quotes) Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can’t print the results (Mark Twain Quotes) The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise (Mark Twain Quotes) I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair (Mark Twain Quotes) The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny (Mark Twain Quotes) Write about winter in the summer. Describe Norway as Ibsen did, from a desk in Italy; describe Dublin as James Joyce did, from a desk in Paris. Willa Cather wrote her prairie novels in New York City; Mark Twain wrote Huckleberry Finn in Hartford, Connecticut. Recently, scholars learned that Walt Whitman rarely left his room (Mark Twain Quotes)

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