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Mark Twain Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places (Mark Twain Quotes)
The future interests me - I’m going to spend the rest of my life there (Mark Twain Quotes)
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven (Mark Twain Quotes)
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys. (Mark Twain Quotes)
If I’d seen a playwright ever write an’ play at the same time, I’d have given ‘em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an ‘amen?’ (Mark Twain Quotes)
God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were. (Mark Twain Quotes)
We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear. (Mark Twain Quotes)
God was left out of the Constitution, but was furnished a front seat in this nations currency. (In God we Trust) is a lie, this nations trust has always been with the dollar. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. (Mark Twain Quotes)
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling (Mark Twain Quotes)
It’s considered good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling (Mark Twain Quotes)
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy (Mark Twain Quotes)
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life (Mark Twain Quotes)
It’s a good thing for a dog to have fleas; keeps his mind off being a dog (Mark Twain Quotes)
Fortune knocks at every man’s door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her. (Mark Twain Quotes)
A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can’t travel any way but sideways and backways. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good (Mark Twain Quotes)
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. (Mark Twain Quotes)
How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it. (Mark Twain Quotes)
The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it. (Mark Twain Quotes)
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it (Mark Twain Quotes)
The two Great Unknowns, the two Illustrious Conjecturabilities! They are the best known unknown persons that have ever drawn breath upon the planet. (Mark Twain Quotes)
God pours out love upon all with a lavish hand -- but He reserves vengeance for His very own (Mark Twain Quotes)
It is so unsatisfactory to read a noble passage and have no one you love at hand to share the happiness with you. And it is unsatisfactory to read to one’s self anyhow - for the uttered voice so heightens the expression. (Mark Twain Quotes)
It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while. (Mark Twain Quotes)
Out of the depths of my happy heart wells a great tide of love and prayer for this priceless treasure that is confided to my lifelong keeping. You cannot see its waves as they flow toward you, darling, but in these lines you will hear...the distant beating of its surf. (Mark Twain Quotes)
If the world ends, I’ll just head on down to Kentucky because they’re always 20 years behind. (Mark Twain Quotes)