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Mark Twain Quotes

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist’s custom Picture Quote #1

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief Picture Quote #1

More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat Picture Quote #1

The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder’s moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a priveleged class, an aristocracy, is but a band of slaveholders under another name Picture Quote #1

So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn’t find honest employment Picture Quote #1

Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth Picture Quote #1

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Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry Picture Quote #1

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written Picture Quote #1

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them Picture Quote #1

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done Picture Quote #1

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more Picture Quote #1

Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me Picture Quote #1

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The size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it Picture Quote #1

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly Picture Quote #1

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for Picture Quote #1

You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool Picture Quote #1

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead Picture Quote #1

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head Picture Quote #1

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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn’t have done it Picture Quote #1

I don’t see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing Picture Quote #1

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened Picture Quote #1

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you Picture Quote #1

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin Picture Quote #1

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it Picture Quote #1

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All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can’t be any worse Picture Quote #1

There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer Picture Quote #1

Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that Picture Quote #1

Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh Picture Quote #1

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don’t try to knock her down with it Picture Quote #1

Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist’s custom (Mark Twain Quotes) Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief (Mark Twain Quotes) More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat (Mark Twain Quotes) The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder’s moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a priveleged class, an aristocracy, is but a band of slaveholders under another name (Mark Twain Quotes) So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn’t find honest employment (Mark Twain Quotes) Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth (Mark Twain Quotes) Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry (Mark Twain Quotes) Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written (Mark Twain Quotes) In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them (Mark Twain Quotes) Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done (Mark Twain Quotes) Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more (Mark Twain Quotes) Jim said that bees won’t sting idiots, but I didn’t believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn’t sting me (Mark Twain Quotes) The size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it (Mark Twain Quotes) I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly (Mark Twain Quotes) The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for (Mark Twain Quotes) You have heretofore found out, by my teachings, that man is a fool; you are now aware that woman is a damned fool (Mark Twain Quotes) I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead (Mark Twain Quotes) Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head (Mark Twain Quotes) What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn’t have done it (Mark Twain Quotes) I don’t see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing (Mark Twain Quotes) I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened (Mark Twain Quotes) It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you (Mark Twain Quotes) The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin (Mark Twain Quotes) Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it (Mark Twain Quotes) All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can’t be any worse (Mark Twain Quotes) There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer (Mark Twain Quotes) Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that (Mark Twain Quotes) Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh (Mark Twain Quotes) A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don’t try to knock her down with it (Mark Twain Quotes) Do something everyday that you don’t want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain (Mark Twain Quotes)

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