|

|

Advertisements

Mike Birbiglia Quotes

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They’re the studio musicians of dance Picture Quote #1

I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so infuriating. It’s like, ‘Who is this guy, and why does he have a memoir?’ David Letterman could write a memoir. Joan Rivers could. I’m just a nobody. I’m a comedian and a writer Picture Quote #1

I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, ‘No, no, you’ve got to listen to my story!’ I’m like, ‘Step aside, everybody. I’m going to blow the doors off this place.’ Picture Quote #1

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don’t act out your dreams Picture Quote #1

I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I’m eating pizza. Like, I’m so content with myself with how it’s going that I’m like, ‘I should do this more,’ not realizing that the mouth is full. I’m just cramming pizza into my mouth Picture Quote #1

I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I’m unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I’m a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I’m looking for ways to try something else Picture Quote #1

Sometimes I take this women’s exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn’t say it’s a women’s class. There’s maybe two men Picture Quote #1

My family isn’t really Italian. We’re more like Olive Garden Italian Picture Quote #1

I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that’s how people find their favorite bands and comedians Picture Quote #1

Once you’ve made your first feature, you know what you can do wrong and how hard it is to shoot a feature. Before you do it, you just don’t know how hard it is. Once you’ve done it, when you’re writing a second one, it’s almost like you’re preparing, and it’s almost holding you back Picture Quote #1

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can’t say that about their fans Picture Quote #1

I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn’t sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing Picture Quote #1

People getting along doesn’t sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don’t even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain Picture Quote #1

When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling stories, so it would take a while for people to get on board for things Picture Quote #1

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, you get it on your shirt Picture Quote #1

I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who’ve been gone from America for so long they didn’t realize that I’m not famous Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24 Picture Quote #1

The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short Picture Quote #1

Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark? Picture Quote #1

You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they’re atheists Picture Quote #1

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They’re the studio musicians of dance Picture Quote #1

Alienation, I suppose, can’t be hackneyed because it will always exist Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching Picture Quote #1

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you Picture Quote #1

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math Picture Quote #1

Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you’ll do anything Picture Quote #1

I didn’t realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents Picture Quote #1

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They’re the studio musicians of dance. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so infuriating. It’s like, ‘Who is this guy, and why does he have a memoir?’ David Letterman could write a memoir. Joan Rivers could. I’m just a nobody. I’m a comedian and a writer. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, ‘No, no, you’ve got to listen to my story!’ I’m like, ‘Step aside, everybody. I’m going to blow the doors off this place.’ (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don’t act out your dreams. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I would say that I love pizza so much that sometimes I eat pizza while I’m eating pizza. Like, I’m so content with myself with how it’s going that I’m like, ‘I should do this more,’ not realizing that the mouth is full. I’m just cramming pizza into my mouth. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I’m unable to do the thing that Broadway actors do in plays, sometimes for years. The same exact blocking, the same exact lines. I’m a little bit uncomfortable with that. Every night I’m looking for ways to try something else. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Sometimes I take this women’s exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn’t say it’s a women’s class. There’s maybe two men. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) My family isn’t really Italian. We’re more like Olive Garden Italian. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that’s how people find their favorite bands and comedians. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Once you’ve made your first feature, you know what you can do wrong and how hard it is to shoot a feature. Before you do it, you just don’t know how hard it is. Once you’ve done it, when you’re writing a second one, it’s almost like you’re preparing, and it’s almost holding you back. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they’re going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can’t say that about their fans. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I feel like people have more in common than the news reports. People getting along doesn’t sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) People getting along doesn’t sell very well in the news. I find that to be deeply depressing. I don’t even talk about it on stage, because it would take too long to explain. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) When I started out, I really struggled as a comic because no one knew who I was, and sometimes I was telling stories, so it would take a while for people to get on board for things. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, you get it on your shirt. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I performed for the U.S. troops in Guantanamo Bay. And signed autographs for people who’ve been gone from America for so long they didn’t realize that I’m not famous. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24. (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark? (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they’re atheists (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Backup dancers are completely respectable. They’re the studio musicians of dance (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Alienation, I suppose, can’t be hackneyed because it will always exist (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you’ll do anything (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I didn’t realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents (Mike Birbiglia Quotes) I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception (Mike Birbiglia Quotes)

1 2 3 4