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Milton Berle Quotes

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Laughter is an instant vacation  (Milton Berle Quotes) If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door  (Milton Berle Quotes) Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name  (Milton Berle Quotes) I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm  (Milton Berle Quotes) A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong  (Milton Berle Quotes) You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think  (Milton Berle Quotes) My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother  (Milton Berle Quotes) Valentine’s Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce  (Milton Berle Quotes) If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?  (Milton Berle Quotes) I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he’s working  (Milton Berle Quotes) Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot  (Milton Berle Quotes) It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales  (Milton Berle Quotes) It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!  (Milton Berle Quotes) A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours  (Milton Berle Quotes) All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express  (Milton Berle Quotes) You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think  (Milton Berle Quotes) I live to laugh, and I laugh to live  (Milton Berle Quotes) Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient  (Milton Berle Quotes) Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?  (Milton Berle Quotes) A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong  (Milton Berle Quotes) A thing of beauty is a job forever  (Milton Berle Quotes) It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales  (Milton Berle Quotes) I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away  (Milton Berle Quotes) Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot  (Milton Berle Quotes) She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash  (Milton Berle Quotes) On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse  (Milton Berle Quotes) Laughter is the best medicine in the world  (Milton Berle Quotes) He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license  (Milton Berle Quotes) It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!  (Milton Berle Quotes) I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in  (Milton Berle Quotes)
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