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Molly Harper Quotes

Aunt Jettie: yes, I’m wandering the earth seeking revenge on ben and jerry for giving me the fat a$$ and coronary and I give out love advice to the tragically lonely.jane: Is that an ironic eternal punishment for the lady who died an eighty-one year old spinster. jettie: single by choice you twirp.jane: banshee.jettie: bloodsucker Picture Quote #1

There’s an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say ‘Fiddledeedee’, run for the hills, because I’m getting ready to take out bystanders Picture Quote #1

I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage Picture Quote #1

I am a former newspaper reporter turned church secretary turned vampire novelist. I wrote my first complete novel, ‘Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs,’ at night while I was working as the receptionist for a Baptist church. That was an interesting conversation with the pastor Picture Quote #1

Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being a woman if I never have children.Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick. Jettie snorted Picture Quote #1

I was that weird kid that checked out all of the non-fiction paranormal studies books from the library. I’ve always been fascinated by the supernatural, particularly movies and TV shows that manage to blend humor with the horror - ‘Supernatural’, ‘Buffy’, ‘Angel.’ Picture Quote #1

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We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola’s version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves’s British accent and Gary Oldman’s elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They’re just misleading Picture Quote #1

I think my books are lighter and funnier than some of the big series out there. You may not walk away from my books having learned a life-altering lesson, but you will feel better for having laughed for a few hours. It’s just a different style of writing Picture Quote #1

Delicious baked goods were the great work hostility equalizer, no matter how unorthodox the workplace Picture Quote #1

Really. How do you respond when someone gifts you with nonlethal law enforcement equipment? Picture Quote #1

The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on Picture Quote #1

My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa Picture Quote #1

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If you want to hurt me fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I'm sleeping. But nobody nobody screws with my dog Picture Quote #1

I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked Picture Quote #1

Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD Picture Quote #1

Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory Picture Quote #1

Why couldn't I have spent the last few months like this, wrapped in his arms, drinking in the warm, spicy scent of him? Oh, wait. Cooper was a complete dick to me, that's why Picture Quote #1

Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil Picture Quote #1

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Look, over the years, my unique sense of humor and perverse grasp of honesty may have led to some hurt feelings and long held grudges. But overall, I'm a pretty likable person Picture Quote #1

I couldn't have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she slept. For the sake of developing her character Picture Quote #1

It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn the rules. There was a label maker involved. I'd rather not go into it Picture Quote #1

Yourself into an information overload fueled frenzy, convinced that you could arrange the whole wedding yourself, and eventually killed one of your loved ones in a glue gun related mishap Picture Quote #1

She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth... Look, there they are Picture Quote #1

Zeb was kindergarten teacher - a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students Picture Quote #1

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Dick called, but he just left dirty voice mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered Picture Quote #1

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? Picture Quote #1

Life is for living, sweetie. It's for taking chances and trying to grab up every little piece of happiness you can latch onto Picture Quote #1

My mother had spent one hundred dollars on shipping to send me cookies, antimeat propaganda, and laxatives Picture Quote #1

I tend to bake when I'm upset. Or bored... or premenstrual... or if it's Tuesday. I'll use any excuse Picture Quote #1

Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Aunt Jettie: yes, I’m wandering the earth seeking revenge on ben and jerry for giving me the fat a$$ and coronary and I give out love advice to the tragically lonely.jane: Is that an ironic eternal punishment for the lady who died an eighty-one year old spinster. jettie: single by choice you twirp.jane: banshee.jettie: bloodsucker. (Molly Harper Quotes) There’s an inverse relationship between my temper and my ability to control my accent. If you hear me say ‘Fiddledeedee’, run for the hills, because I’m getting ready to take out bystanders (Molly Harper Quotes) I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage (Molly Harper Quotes) I am a former newspaper reporter turned church secretary turned vampire novelist. I wrote my first complete novel, ‘Nice Girls Don’t Have Fangs,’ at night while I was working as the receptionist for a Baptist church. That was an interesting conversation with the pastor. (Molly Harper Quotes) Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to me being a woman if I never have children.Well, if that’s true, I wasted a hell of a lot of money on panty hose and lipstick. Jettie snorted. (Molly Harper Quotes) I was that weird kid that checked out all of the non-fiction paranormal studies books from the library. I’ve always been fascinated by the supernatural, particularly movies and TV shows that manage to blend humor with the horror - ‘Supernatural’, ‘Buffy’, ‘Angel.’ (Molly Harper Quotes) We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola’s version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves’s British accent and Gary Oldman’s elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They’re just misleading. (Molly Harper Quotes) I think my books are lighter and funnier than some of the big series out there. You may not walk away from my books having learned a life-altering lesson, but you will feel better for having laughed for a few hours. It’s just a different style of writing. (Molly Harper Quotes) Delicious baked goods were the great work hostility equalizer, no matter how unorthodox the workplace (Molly Harper Quotes) Really. How do you respond when someone gifts you with nonlethal law enforcement equipment? (Molly Harper Quotes) The brain may die, but my compulsion for useless trivia lives on (Molly Harper Quotes) My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa (Molly Harper Quotes) If you want to hurt me fine. Take my books. Burn down my house. Shave my head while I'm sleeping. But nobody nobody screws with my dog (Molly Harper Quotes) I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the front door unpadlocked (Molly Harper Quotes) Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD (Molly Harper Quotes) Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory (Molly Harper Quotes) Why couldn't I have spent the last few months like this, wrapped in his arms, drinking in the warm, spicy scent of him? Oh, wait. Cooper was a complete dick to me, that's why (Molly Harper Quotes) Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil (Molly Harper Quotes) Look, over the years, my unique sense of humor and perverse grasp of honesty may have led to some hurt feelings and long held grudges. But overall, I'm a pretty likable person (Molly Harper Quotes) I couldn't have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she slept. For the sake of developing her character (Molly Harper Quotes) It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn the rules. There was a label maker involved. I'd rather not go into it (Molly Harper Quotes) Yourself into an information overload fueled frenzy, convinced that you could arrange the whole wedding yourself, and eventually killed one of your loved ones in a glue gun related mishap (Molly Harper Quotes) She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines around your mouth... Look, there they are (Molly Harper Quotes) Zeb was kindergarten teacher - a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students (Molly Harper Quotes) Dick called, but he just left dirty voice mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving canola oil and marabou feathers, I'm covered (Molly Harper Quotes) Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? (Molly Harper Quotes) Life is for living, sweetie. It's for taking chances and trying to grab up every little piece of happiness you can latch onto (Molly Harper Quotes) My mother had spent one hundred dollars on shipping to send me cookies, antimeat propaganda, and laxatives (Molly Harper Quotes) I tend to bake when I'm upset. Or bored... or premenstrual... or if it's Tuesday. I'll use any excuse (Molly Harper Quotes) Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back (Molly Harper Quotes)

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