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Norm MacDonald Quotes

I’m no good at anything but comedy, which I think I’m good at. I’m absolutely no good at networking; I’m terrible at acting; I’m terrible at dealing with executives; I’m terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I’m good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don’t really have an ambition for money Picture Quote #1

I don’t know anything about politics. I wouldn’t put too much into my prediction on politics Picture Quote #1

If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious Picture Quote #1

In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That’s how you know who the best player is Picture Quote #1

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time Picture Quote #1

A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season Picture Quote #1

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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins Picture Quote #1

We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves Picture Quote #1

Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves Picture Quote #1

The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men Picture Quote #1

There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion Picture Quote #1

Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity Picture Quote #1

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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose Picture Quote #1

Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity Picture Quote #1

They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs Picture Quote #1

In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it Picture Quote #1

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money Picture Quote #1

This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it Picture Quote #1

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The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us Picture Quote #1

I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up Picture Quote #1

The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do Picture Quote #1

A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy Picture Quote #1

If you’re looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here’s a clue: Look for the dead guy Picture Quote #1

I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies Picture Quote #1

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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape Picture Quote #1

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise Picture Quote #1

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations Picture Quote #1

A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves Picture Quote #1

They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it Picture Quote #1

Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

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Text Quotes

I’m no good at anything but comedy, which I think I’m good at. I’m absolutely no good at networking; I’m terrible at acting; I’m terrible at dealing with executives; I’m terrible at collaborating. And I say whatever I want to say. But I think I’m good enough at comedy that I can survive. And I don’t really have an ambition for money (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I don’t know anything about politics. I wouldn’t put too much into my prediction on politics (Norm MacDonald Quotes) If you’re watching a comedian on television and he’s making a political point, I would say he’s gotten too serious (Norm MacDonald Quotes) In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That’s how you know who the best player is (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it’s inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time (Norm MacDonald Quotes) A proper disposition of time leaves a man at leisure in the very bustle of affairs; without delaying the attention of his concerns to the last or giving them unnecessary application at first: it affords a season for everything by affording everything its proper season (Norm MacDonald Quotes) It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins (Norm MacDonald Quotes) We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Proper respect to others is the most prudent rule of directing the measure of reverence due to ourselves (Norm MacDonald Quotes) The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men (Norm MacDonald Quotes) There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity (Norm MacDonald Quotes) With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Some men mistake generosity for charity: these flatter themselves that they are giving gratuitously, whilst they are merely rewarding secret services offered their vanity (Norm MacDonald Quotes) They say that if you’re afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you’re actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I’m afraid of dogs (Norm MacDonald Quotes) In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money (Norm MacDonald Quotes) This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it (Norm MacDonald Quotes) The vanity of being asked advice often makes us confirm the opinion of those that consult us (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up (Norm MacDonald Quotes) The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do (Norm MacDonald Quotes) A lot of people think I’m difficult to work with. It’s not like I really want to do that much stuff, so it doesn’t really matter. I guess I’m somewhat difficult when it comes to comedy (Norm MacDonald Quotes) If you’re looking for the suspect in a suicide bombing, here’s a clue: Look for the dead guy (Norm MacDonald Quotes) I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies (Norm MacDonald Quotes) In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape (Norm MacDonald Quotes) The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise (Norm MacDonald Quotes) We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations (Norm MacDonald Quotes) A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves (Norm MacDonald Quotes) They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it (Norm MacDonald Quotes) Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools (Norm MacDonald Quotes)

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