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P J ORourke Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
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Text Quotes
I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer (P J ORourke Quotes)
Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty (P J ORourke Quotes)
Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances (P J ORourke Quotes)
Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum (P J ORourke Quotes)
As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one’s friends’ and relatives’ children (P J ORourke Quotes)
My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you’re fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family (P J ORourke Quotes)
One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn’t there. It has to do with history (P J ORourke Quotes)
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known (P J ORourke Quotes)
The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken (P J ORourke Quotes)
I realised the bohemian life was not for me. I would look around at my friends, living like starving artists, and wonder, ‘Where’s the art?’ They weren’t doing anything. And there was so much interesting stuff to do, so much fun to be had... maybe I could even quit renting (P J ORourke Quotes)
People are always angry at America. They’re absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems. But the anger is always directed at America and never at Americans (P J ORourke Quotes)
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement (P J ORourke Quotes)
The complexity of economics can be calculated mathematically. Write out the algebraic equation that is the human heart and multiply each unknown by the population of the world (P J ORourke Quotes)
We had a choice between Democrats who couldn’t learn from the past and Republicans who couldn’t stop living in it (P J ORourke Quotes)
Writing this book required an enormous amount of help from friends. To them goes the credit. I’ll take the money (P J ORourke Quotes)
One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling (P J ORourke Quotes)
It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money (P J ORourke Quotes)
To mistrust science and deny the validity of the scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal (P J ORourke Quotes)
There is only one basic human right: the right to do as you please, without causing others harm. With it comes our only basic human duty: the duty to accept the consequences of our actions (P J ORourke Quotes)
Anyhow, all mankind’s ideas and interests, all human aims and motives, are exhibited, fully formed, in a three-year-old child. The kid is just operating on a smaller scale and lacks the advantage of having made enormous soft-money campaign contributions to political candidates (P J ORourke Quotes)
Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it’s very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint (P J ORourke Quotes)
The old woman was not only ugly with the ugliness age brings us all but showed signs of formidable ugliness by birth - pickle-jar chin, mainsail ears and a nose like a trigonometry problem. What’s more, she had the deep frown and snit wrinkles that come from a lifetime of bad character (P J ORourke Quotes)
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have (P J ORourke Quotes)
Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don’t smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips (P J ORourke Quotes)
In case we have to shoot Democrats. It happened during the Civil War, and it could happen again (P J ORourke Quotes)
Imagine if all of life were determined by majority rule. Every meal would be a pizza. Every pair of pants, even those in a Brooks Brothers suit, would be stone-washed denim. Celebrity diet and exercise books would be the only thing on the shelves at the library. And - since women are a majority of the population - we’d all be married to Mel Gibson (P J ORourke Quotes)
All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that’s said with a dismissive giggle (P J ORourke Quotes)
You can’t get something for nothing. Everybody remembers this except politicians (P J ORourke Quotes)
God has no role to play in politics except to make sure politicians go where they belong. To hell (P J ORourke Quotes)
Who does Bill Clinton think got off the boat and stepped on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? (P J ORourke Quotes)