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Patton Oswalt Quotes

I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted Picture Quote #1

Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you’re not being a slave to your possessions Picture Quote #1

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes Picture Quote #1

Like, my feelings on religion are starting to morph. I’m still very much an atheist, except that I don’t necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that’s a weird thing that I’m struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious Picture Quote #1

When you act, you’re being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It’s very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they’re doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded Picture Quote #1

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that’s good, suck it up, and drive on Picture Quote #1

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We’re rewarding either the reality or the appearance of youth, which is why you have all these people in their fifties trying to act like they’re seventeen. You know, it’s great to be young. Be young. By all means, be young. But always remember that youth is also kinda dumb, and doesn’t know a lot yet Picture Quote #1

I haven’t sworn off Facebook. I’m on Facebook. There’s a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I’m on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird. And then with MySpace, I just don’t read messages. I delete everything, and I just post updates every now and then Picture Quote #1

Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I’ll always go back to it. I’ll never stop doing it, that’s for sure Picture Quote #1

I think right now is the best time for stand - up, ever. I sincerely do Picture Quote #1

I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We’ll see Picture Quote #1

George Bush is not stupid. He’s evil. OK? There’s a huge difference between stupid and evil Picture Quote #1

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90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that’s good, suck it up, and drive on Picture Quote #1

I hate all sidekicks Picture Quote #1

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you Picture Quote #1

Zombies can’t believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits Picture Quote #1

It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate Picture Quote #1

Knowing comedy is knowing human nature Picture Quote #1

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There’s all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that Picture Quote #1

I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes Picture Quote #1

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage Picture Quote #1

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians Picture Quote #1

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form Picture Quote #1

I’ve hung out in the writer’s room a few times, but the fact is we’ve got such a good writing staff, I don’t want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything Picture Quote #1

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If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins Picture Quote #1

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago Picture Quote #1

As unhealthy as I am, I’m weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions Picture Quote #1

Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you’re not being a slave to your possessions Picture Quote #1

I can’t say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast Picture Quote #1

I’ve gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you’re not being a slave to your possessions. (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out of me with steel pipes (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Like, my feelings on religion are starting to morph. I’m still very much an atheist, except that I don’t necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that’s a weird thing that I’m struggling with that seems to be offending both atheists and people that are religious. (Patton Oswalt Quotes) When you act, you’re being asked to pretend in a very rigid, controlled environment. It’s very un-childlike. So a lot of times, when you put kids in that situation, you hope they have a better support system outside of what they’re doing to bring them back to reality at the end of the day and to keep them well-rounded. (Patton Oswalt Quotes) 90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that’s good, suck it up, and drive on. (Patton Oswalt Quotes) We’re rewarding either the reality or the appearance of youth, which is why you have all these people in their fifties trying to act like they’re seventeen. You know, it’s great to be young. Be young. By all means, be young. But always remember that youth is also kinda dumb, and doesn’t know a lot yet. (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I haven’t sworn off Facebook. I’m on Facebook. There’s a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I’m on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird. And then with MySpace, I just don’t read messages. I delete everything, and I just post updates every now and then (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I’ll always go back to it. I’ll never stop doing it, that’s for sure (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I think right now is the best time for stand - up, ever. I sincerely do (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We’ll see (Patton Oswalt Quotes) George Bush is not stupid. He’s evil. OK? There’s a huge difference between stupid and evil (Patton Oswalt Quotes) 90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that’s good, suck it up, and drive on (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I hate all sidekicks (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Zombies can’t believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits (Patton Oswalt Quotes) It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Knowing comedy is knowing human nature (Patton Oswalt Quotes) There’s all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear, or a smell you smell, or one person says something totally out of the context without the meaning that you assigned to it, but you snap back to the way you were when you were 14 or 15. We all deal with that (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I’ve hung out in the writer’s room a few times, but the fact is we’ve got such a good writing staff, I don’t want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything (Patton Oswalt Quotes) If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins (Patton Oswalt Quotes) We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We’d have eaten ourselves alive long ago (Patton Oswalt Quotes) As unhealthy as I am, I’m weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions (Patton Oswalt Quotes) Having enough money has to go hand in hand with living in a way that you’re not being a slave to your possessions (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I can’t say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast (Patton Oswalt Quotes) I’ve gotten very cynical and kind of anhedonic about all the things I have to do to get to do comedy: all the travel, hotels, and airports (Patton Oswalt Quotes)

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