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Paula Poundstone Quotes

I get in fewer arguments when I’m alone Picture Quote #1

The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep Picture Quote #1

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge Picture Quote #1

I’m thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going Picture Quote #1

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them Picture Quote #1

The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community Picture Quote #1

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I love key lime pie, although it’s never made the proper way Picture Quote #1

Can you remember when you didn’t want to sleep? Isn’t it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep Picture Quote #1

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe murderer Picture Quote #1

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name Picture Quote #1

I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled Picture Quote #1

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I have a very silly sense of humor. I’ve never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe Picture Quote #1

The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it’s more like a tired feeling, really Picture Quote #1

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling Picture Quote #1

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name and apparently that’s the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess Picture Quote #1

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off Picture Quote #1

I only do two things in my life, and that’s take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out Picture Quote #1

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I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television Picture Quote #1

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it Picture Quote #1

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas Picture Quote #1

When a woman extends her hand for you to shake it, then you shake her hand. You do not turn it up and kiss it. And it is just so creepy. Because, you know, I handed it at this angle. I handed it at the handshake angle and so I’m not giving it to you to do whatever you want with it. I’m not loaning it to you. It’s like if somebody borrowed your lawnmower and you’re assuming they’re going to use it to mow their lawn. You don’t want to find out later they put it in the ocean! Picture Quote #1

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision Picture Quote #1

I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, I’m in the clear for at least ten years Picture Quote #1

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I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids Picture Quote #1

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I’ve learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing Picture Quote #1

I have jokes I’ve told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I get in fewer arguments when I’m alone (Paula Poundstone Quotes) The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I’m thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going (Paula Poundstone Quotes) There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them (Paula Poundstone Quotes) The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I love key lime pie, although it’s never made the proper way (Paula Poundstone Quotes) Can you remember when you didn’t want to sleep? Isn’t it inconceivable? I guess the definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep (Paula Poundstone Quotes) The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe murderer (Paula Poundstone Quotes) Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I have a very silly sense of humor. I’ve never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe (Paula Poundstone Quotes) The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it’s more like a tired feeling, really (Paula Poundstone Quotes) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name and apparently that’s the key to the whole thing right there. I go in every few weeks and guess (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I only do two things in my life, and that’s take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I was the youngest in my family. When the other kids went to school, my mother would make them breakfast and then she would go back to bed for an hour, so I was sort of babysat by television (Paula Poundstone Quotes) My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it (Paula Poundstone Quotes) Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas (Paula Poundstone Quotes) When a woman extends her hand for you to shake it, then you shake her hand. You do not turn it up and kiss it. And it is just so creepy. Because, you know, I handed it at this angle. I handed it at the handshake angle and so I’m not giving it to you to do whatever you want with it. I’m not loaning it to you. It’s like if somebody borrowed your lawnmower and you’re assuming they’re going to use it to mow their lawn. You don’t want to find out later they put it in the ocean! (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I confess that when I first read that smog is particularly hazardous to children, senior citizens, and physically active people, for a brief moment I thought, I’m in the clear for at least ten years (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I’ve learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing (Paula Poundstone Quotes) I have jokes I’ve told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd (Paula Poundstone Quotes)

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