Pity the selfishness of lovers: it is brief, a forlorn hope; it is impossible

Pity the selfishness of lovers: it is brief, a forlorn hope; it is impossible

Elizabeth Bowen, a renowned Irish novelist and short story writer, was known for her keen observations of human relationships and emotions. In her works, she often delved into the complexities of love and the selfishness that can sometimes accompany it. One of her most famous quotes, "Pity the selfishness of lovers: it is brief, a forlorn hope; it is impossible," encapsulates this theme perfectly.

In this quote, Bowen is highlighting the inherent selfishness that can be present in romantic relationships. Love, by its very nature, can bring out the best and worst in people. It can inspire acts of selflessness and sacrifice, but it can also lead to possessiveness, jealousy, and a desire to control the other person. Bowen suggests that this selfishness is ultimately futile and doomed to fail.

The idea that the selfishness of lovers is "brief" speaks to the transient nature of romantic relationships. People change, circumstances shift, and what once seemed all-consuming can quickly fade away. The intense emotions of love can cloud judgment and lead to actions that are ultimately unsustainable. Bowen seems to be cautioning against placing too much importance on the selfish desires of lovers, as they are likely to be short-lived.

Bowen also describes the selfishness of lovers as a "forlorn hope," suggesting that it is a desperate and ultimately hopeless endeavor. Love can be a powerful force, but when it is tainted by selfishness, it is unlikely to lead to lasting happiness or fulfillment. The pursuit of one's own desires at the expense of the other person is a recipe for heartache and disappointment.

Finally, Bowen asserts that the selfishness of lovers is "impossible." This could be interpreted in a couple of ways. On one hand, it could mean that true love cannot coexist with selfishness. In order for a relationship to thrive, both partners must be willing to put the other person's needs ahead of their own. Selfishness is antithetical to the selflessness and empathy that are necessary for a healthy, lasting relationship.

On the other hand, Bowen may be suggesting that the selfish desires of lovers are ultimately unattainable. Trying to possess or control another person, or expecting them to fulfill all of one's needs and desires, is a recipe for disappointment. Love is a complex and multifaceted emotion that cannot be reduced to mere selfishness.