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Red Buttons Quotes
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Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
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Text Quotes
I’ll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar (Red Buttons Quotes)
Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Some of the most famous people in history never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Captain Hook’s mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don’t scratch it! Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn’t want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Clint Eastwood’s sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
George Washington, who said to his father, Dad, if I never tell I lie, how am I ever gonna become President? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Dean Martin’s pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Dean Martin’s great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where’s the gin? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it’s a chest cold? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Queen Elizabeth, who said, Not now, I’m on the throne. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don’t make the bed; I’m just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Stan Musial, who said, Why didn’t they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Alexander Graham Bell’s wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It’s only a nickname. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Henry Ford, who despite his immense wealth never owned a Cadillac. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I’ve got a better idea. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Julius Caesar’s wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello (Red Buttons Quotes)
When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he’d get a Bloody Mary (Red Buttons Quotes)
George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there (Red Buttons Quotes)
Abraham Lincoln, who said, A house divided... is a condominium. Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Adam, who said to Eve, What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got a dinner! (Red Buttons Quotes)
Eve said to the serpent, ‘You know I could go for a bit to eat, but I don’t know you from Adam.’ (Red Buttons Quotes)
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