|

|

Advertisements

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too Picture Quote #1

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it Picture Quote #1

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! Picture Quote #1

When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, look... Twins! Picture Quote #1

In my life I've been through plenty. When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me Picture Quote #1

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away Picture Quote #1

When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... And no one showed up Picture Quote #1

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, man, I wish I had your willpower Picture Quote #1

I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it Picture Quote #1

I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch Picture Quote #1

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it Picture Quote #1

A girl phoned me the other day and said. 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home Picture Quote #1

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it Picture Quote #1

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest Picture Quote #1

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend Picture Quote #1

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie. ' He said 'God beat me to it. ' Picture Quote #1

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand Picture Quote #1

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio Picture Quote #1

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie Picture Quote #1

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going Picture Quote #1

My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend Picture Quote #1

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair Picture Quote #1

My wife was afraid of the dark... Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light Picture Quote #1

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid Picture Quote #1

I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself Picture Quote #1

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places Picture Quote #1

1 - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other! (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, look... Twins! (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) In my life I've been through plenty. When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... And no one showed up (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, man, I wish I had your willpower (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I tell ya, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. The other night a guy pulled a knife on me. I could see it wasn't a real professional job. There was butter on it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) A girl phoned me the other day and said. 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Yeah, I know I'm ugly. I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie. ' He said 'God beat me to it. ' (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) My wife was afraid of the dark... Then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes) I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to keep out of those places (Rodney Dangerfield Quotes)

1 - 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9