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Roseanne Barr Quotes

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone Picture Quote #1

My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact Picture Quote #1

Who’s elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here Picture Quote #1

I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously Picture Quote #1

Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a less-challenging emotional nature Picture Quote #1

I never do anything fun, because I’m a housewife. I hate that word ‘housewife.’ I prefer to be called ‘domestic goddess.’ Picture Quote #1

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Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought Picture Quote #1

I’m either mentally ill or Jewish. I can’t sometimes tell the difference Picture Quote #1

I’m enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It’s just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology Picture Quote #1

Nobody wanted the ‘Roseanne’ show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family Picture Quote #1

Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor Picture Quote #1

You know, I’m blessed. ‘Blessed’ is a better way of saying ‘rich.’ Picture Quote #1

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The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office Picture Quote #1

I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled Picture Quote #1

Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem! Picture Quote #1

Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact Picture Quote #1

Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I’m God and I’d like to start over. I don’t want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That’s why I write a blog. And I read it, too Picture Quote #1

I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody’s kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too Picture Quote #1

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I say I’m the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I’d like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice Picture Quote #1

I try to do women’s-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, ‘This is what I think; there’s the truth.’ I try to think of stuff that’s real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff Picture Quote #1

I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election Picture Quote #1

I’m a comic, and I’m supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin’ people laugh is to shake up their thinkin’. That’s what I came here to do Picture Quote #1

I’m a farmer now, and it’s fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There’s something about earning your dinner that’s cool Picture Quote #1

I’m never going to get married again. Three strikes, you’re out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don’t I? I think you only get three Picture Quote #1

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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment ‘Roseanne’ dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous! Picture Quote #1

TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel Picture Quote #1

Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my God that question and She answered, ‘Hey, why not you Roseanne?’ Indeed, why not each of us? Picture Quote #1

Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve Picture Quote #1

I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you’re not funny at all Picture Quote #1

Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It’s a mind-expander, which is part of why it’s illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone (Roseanne Barr Quotes) My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Who’s elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a less-challenging emotional nature (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I never do anything fun, because I’m a housewife. I hate that word ‘housewife.’ I prefer to be called ‘domestic goddess.’ (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to the needs of the highest bidder as opposed to the people they claim to represent. I cannot be bought (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m either mentally ill or Jewish. I can’t sometimes tell the difference (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It’s just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Nobody wanted the ‘Roseanne’ show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor (Roseanne Barr Quotes) You know, I’m blessed. ‘Blessed’ is a better way of saying ‘rich.’ (Roseanne Barr Quotes) The American people are sick and tired of this ‘lesser evil’ garbage they get fed every election year. Both the Democrats and the Republicans do the same evils once they’re in office (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I crave the feeling of hope it gives me to think that today will be different from yesterday, that I will find an interesting comment or poke or video, and on the extremely rare occasion when that happens, I am just thrilled (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are consistently withheld from the people by American media. We must have facts and data in order to recognize where there is a problem! (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I’m God and I’d like to start over. I don’t want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That’s why I write a blog. And I read it, too (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody’s kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I say I’m the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I’d like to take this opportunity to ask both Romney and Obama to debate me. Because I think that both of those guys - I think that the American people are being given a false choice, because the choice between the lesser of two evils is a false choice (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I try to do women’s-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, ‘This is what I think; there’s the truth.’ I try to think of stuff that’s real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I will barnstorm American living rooms. Mainstream media will be unable to ignore me, but more importantly they will be unable to overlook the needs of average Americans in the run-up to the 2012 election (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m a comic, and I’m supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin’ people laugh is to shake up their thinkin’. That’s what I came here to do (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m a farmer now, and it’s fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There’s something about earning your dinner that’s cool (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I’m never going to get married again. Three strikes, you’re out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don’t I? I think you only get three (Roseanne Barr Quotes) The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment ‘Roseanne’ dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous! (Roseanne Barr Quotes) TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my God that question and She answered, ‘Hey, why not you Roseanne?’ Indeed, why not each of us? (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need righteous and strong men who will help us to use our most cherished gifts: the ability to multitask and problem solve (Roseanne Barr Quotes) I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you’re not funny at all (Roseanne Barr Quotes) Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It’s a mind-expander, which is part of why it’s illegal and why drugs like Vicodin are legal (Roseanne Barr Quotes)

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