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S J Perelman Quotes

I loathe writing. On the other hand I’m a great believer in money Picture Quote #1

We old roosters must be cautious. Don’t try to outwit your arteries Picture Quote #1

I withheld a riposte that would have seared him if had been able to think of it, and followed him into the office Picture Quote #1

This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale’s Picture Quote #1

There is something about a home aquarium which sets my teeth on edge the moment I see it. Why anyone would want to live with a small container of stagnant water populated by a half-dead guppy is beyond me Picture Quote #1

I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws Picture Quote #1

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Only the scenario writers are exempt. These are tied between the tails of two spirited Caucasian ponies, which are then driven off in opposite directions. This custom is called a conference Picture Quote #1

A procession of sinuous long-stemmed beauties wound its way to the footlights attired in peasant costumes, large sections of which evidently had been lost in shipment from France Picture Quote #1

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring Picture Quote #1

I’ll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they’ve gone, I’ll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again Picture Quote #1

English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth Picture Quote #1

I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartets, chamber music, and cantatas Picture Quote #1

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If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I’ve written, I feel the day hasn’t been totally wasted Picture Quote #1

He was done with tinsel and sawdust, he declaimed; he wanted no more of the theater and its cutthroat machinations Picture Quote #1

Two young ladies, in toreador pants and mohair sweaters, whose swirling coiffures looked as though they had been squeezed from an icing gun, had ranged themselves at the fountain Picture Quote #1

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck Picture Quote #1

Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it Picture Quote #1

I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll. Any dietitian will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of beans Picture Quote #1

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There is such a thing as too much couth Picture Quote #1

We old roosters must be cautious. Don’t try to outwit your arteries Picture Quote #1

I loathe writing. On the other hand I’m a great believer in money Picture Quote #1

To err is human, to forgive supine Picture Quote #1

The main obligation is to amuse yourself Picture Quote #1

The day started off, as all mine do, at a snail’s pace Picture Quote #1

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The only solution is to plow everything under and live on pie Picture Quote #1

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century Picture Quote #1

I’d horsewhip you if I had a horse Picture Quote #1

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are Picture Quote #1

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it Picture Quote #1

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere Picture Quote #1

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I loathe writing. On the other hand I’m a great believer in money. (S J Perelman Quotes) We old roosters must be cautious. Don’t try to outwit your arteries. (S J Perelman Quotes) I withheld a riposte that would have seared him if had been able to think of it, and followed him into the office (S J Perelman Quotes) This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale’s. (S J Perelman Quotes) There is something about a home aquarium which sets my teeth on edge the moment I see it. Why anyone would want to live with a small container of stagnant water populated by a half-dead guppy is beyond me (S J Perelman Quotes) I guess I’m just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation’s laws (S J Perelman Quotes) Only the scenario writers are exempt. These are tied between the tails of two spirited Caucasian ponies, which are then driven off in opposite directions. This custom is called a conference (S J Perelman Quotes) A procession of sinuous long-stemmed beauties wound its way to the footlights attired in peasant costumes, large sections of which evidently had been lost in shipment from France (S J Perelman Quotes) Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it’s the triumphant twang of a bedspring (S J Perelman Quotes) I’ll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they’ve gone, I’ll get along. I started off living on gruel, and by God, I can always go back to it again (S J Perelman Quotes) English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth (S J Perelman Quotes) I tried to resist his overtures, but he plied me with symphonies, quartets, chamber music, and cantatas (S J Perelman Quotes) If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I’ve written, I feel the day hasn’t been totally wasted (S J Perelman Quotes) He was done with tinsel and sawdust, he declaimed; he wanted no more of the theater and its cutthroat machinations (S J Perelman Quotes) Two young ladies, in toreador pants and mohair sweaters, whose swirling coiffures looked as though they had been squeezed from an icing gun, had ranged themselves at the fountain (S J Perelman Quotes) Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck (S J Perelman Quotes) Tomatoes and squash never fail to reach maturity. You can spray them with acid, beat them with sticks and burn them; they love it (S J Perelman Quotes) I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll. Any dietitian will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of beans (S J Perelman Quotes) There is such a thing as too much couth (S J Perelman Quotes) We old roosters must be cautious. Don’t try to outwit your arteries (S J Perelman Quotes) I loathe writing. On the other hand I’m a great believer in money (S J Perelman Quotes) To err is human, to forgive supine (S J Perelman Quotes) The main obligation is to amuse yourself (S J Perelman Quotes) The day started off, as all mine do, at a snail’s pace (S J Perelman Quotes) The only solution is to plow everything under and live on pie (S J Perelman Quotes) Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century (S J Perelman Quotes) I’d horsewhip you if I had a horse (S J Perelman Quotes) The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we wring it out like a dishtowel. You are what you are (S J Perelman Quotes) He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it (S J Perelman Quotes) The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere (S J Perelman Quotes)