|

|

Advertisements

Scott Adams Quotes

Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren’t much good to anyone else if you’re unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It’s best for everyone Picture Quote #1

Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel Picture Quote #1

You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles Picture Quote #1

I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can’t kill you immediately Picture Quote #1

I’ve always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life Picture Quote #1

Everyone says there’s a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay) Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won’t run out of material Picture Quote #1

Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it’s called leadership Picture Quote #1

I believe in karma... that means I can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it Picture Quote #1

It doesn’t take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation Picture Quote #1

If you haven’t already told your kids ‘don’t fellate the president’ then you’re probably a bad parent Picture Quote #1

Management is nature’s way of removing idiots from the productive flow Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management Picture Quote #1

One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It’s a wonderful feeling. That’s why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn’t easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can’t always duck Picture Quote #1

In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can’t use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants Picture Quote #1

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That’s exactly like a nut except with a better attitude Picture Quote #1

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get Picture Quote #1

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material Picture Quote #1

Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt’s the miracle of science Picture Quote #1

One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there’s something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer Picture Quote #1

Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the ‘incompetence line’ through no fault of their own Picture Quote #1

Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It’s the implementation that’s important! The trick isn’t just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it! Picture Quote #1

Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as nutty methods; 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as a complete waste of time Picture Quote #1

Advertisements

Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same Picture Quote #1

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert’s Motto Picture Quote #1

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: ‘If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die’ Picture Quote #1

Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning Picture Quote #1

In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog’s job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him Picture Quote #1

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer’s cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw Picture Quote #1

1 2 3 4 5 6

Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

Advertisements

Text Quotes

Priority-wise, it simply makes sense to take care of yourself before you start searching for a higher meaning. You aren’t much good to anyone else if you’re unhealthy, a financial burden, or an emotional basket case. Fix yourself before you turn outward. It’s best for everyone (Scott Adams Quotes) Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel (Scott Adams Quotes) You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles (Scott Adams Quotes) I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can’t kill you immediately (Scott Adams Quotes) I’ve always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life (Scott Adams Quotes) Everyone says there’s a lack of leadership in the world these days. I think we should all be thankful, because the only reason for leadership is to convince people to do things that are either dangerous (like invading another country) or stupid (working extra hard without extra pay) (Scott Adams Quotes) As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won’t run out of material (Scott Adams Quotes) Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it’s called leadership. (Scott Adams Quotes) I believe in karma... that means I can do bad things to you all day long and assume you deserve it. (Scott Adams Quotes) It doesn’t take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation (Scott Adams Quotes) If you haven’t already told your kids ‘don’t fellate the president’ then you’re probably a bad parent. (Scott Adams Quotes) Management is nature’s way of removing idiots from the productive flow (Scott Adams Quotes) Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management. (Scott Adams Quotes) One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It’s a wonderful feeling. That’s why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn’t easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can’t always duck. (Scott Adams Quotes) In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can’t use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants. (Scott Adams Quotes) For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That’s exactly like a nut except with a better attitude. (Scott Adams Quotes) I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get. (Scott Adams Quotes) Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. (Scott Adams Quotes) As a rule, anything in a binder has very little value, except as building material (Scott Adams Quotes) Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt’s the miracle of science. (Scott Adams Quotes) One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there’s something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer. (Scott Adams Quotes) Every year, it takes more brains to navigate this complicated world. More people are falling below what I call the ‘incompetence line’ through no fault of their own. (Scott Adams Quotes) Ideas are cheap. A dime a dozen, as they say. It’s the implementation that’s important! The trick isn’t just to have a computer game idea, but to actually create it! (Scott Adams Quotes) Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as nutty methods; 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as a complete waste of time. (Scott Adams Quotes) Reporters are faced with the daily choice of painstakingly researching stories or writing whatever people tell them. Both approaches pay the same. (Scott Adams Quotes) Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert’s Motto (Scott Adams Quotes) In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: ‘If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die’. (Scott Adams Quotes) Recently I quit caffeine. My doctor seems to think that 17 Diet Cokes per day is too much. In case you ever consider getting off caffeine yourself, let me explain the process. You begin by sitting motionlessly in a desk chair. Then you just keep doing that forever because life has no meaning. (Scott Adams Quotes) In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog’s job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him. (Scott Adams Quotes) I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer’s cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw. (Scott Adams Quotes)

1 2 3 4 5 6