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Sloane Crosley Quotes

Unless we’re talking about old-school, witchcraft-trial violence, can we please phase out the phrase ‘girl crush?’ While we’re at it, if we can axe ‘like, total girl crush’ unless Total Girl Crush is the name of a fizzy soft drink, in which case I’ll take two, thank you Picture Quote #1

When I was nine years old, I wrote a short story called ‘How to Build a Snowman,’ from which no practical snowperson-crafting techniques could be gleaned. The story was an assignment for class and it featured a series of careful but meaningless instructions. Of course, the building of the snowman was a red herring Picture Quote #1

It seemed more and more like something out of a children’s book - the butterfly that followed the little girl all the way home to her fifth-floor walk-up. How above-the-law children’s books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (breach of contract) Picture Quote #1

The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson this is for a young girl. If you’re eating your curds and whey and a spider comes along, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with picking up a newspaper, smashing it, and going back to your breakfast Picture Quote #1

Friendship is a Spackle in itself. You’ll forgive your friends a lot, and if you’re a woman, you’ll forgive your straight male friends even more. They represent the possibility of mutual toleration between the sexes, a keyhole into the mind of the Other, and the promise of one day meeting someone just like them except that you want to sleep with them Picture Quote #1

As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what’s been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge Picture Quote #1

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Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure Picture Quote #1

The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage Picture Quote #1

Okay, this is Fran Lebowitz. She gave an interview once for the Paris Review about trying to write fiction and saying that fiction writers start talking about how characters are talking to them, and it’s crazy, she’s never had that. And I also thought, I’m never gonna be able to do this, because I didn’t feel that for a really long time Picture Quote #1

I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene Picture Quote #1

I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us Picture Quote #1

Like most citizens of popular and international urban centres, I don’t take advantage of the cultural opportunities. Perhaps this comes from growing up in suburbia. Home is where you eat, sleep, read, watch television and ignore your parents. It is not where you go to the ballet and then attend a heated panel discussion about it afterwards Picture Quote #1

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Cohabitation seems a greater leap in cities because it’s all the harder to extract oneself if things turn sour. It’s what keeps otherwise functional adults living with their mothers Picture Quote #1

My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book ‘Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers’ - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford’s wire hangers look like pool noodles Picture Quote #1

It’s funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They’re usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate Picture Quote #1

I don’t really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don’t think of them as a memoir. They’re essays; they’re not an autobiography Picture Quote #1

The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver’s permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl one’s car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power Picture Quote #1

I have certain rules that I’ve established for myself that took a while post-day job to figure out. Everyone says people who freelance or are writers struggle with the structure of it. I’m not allowed to check email before a certain hour. I’m not allowed to run errands during the day. I have to write a certain amount every day Picture Quote #1

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The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it’s a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled, life-or-death situation and their fundamental behaviours are exposed, the scrim is taken away and the motivations behind each personality come out to play Picture Quote #1

There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes. But cat people may as well have whiskers and tails themselves. That’s because their pets’ lack of social need taps straight into our worst fears as the human inhabitants of New York Picture Quote #1

In every woman’s wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories Picture Quote #1

I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It’s the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water Picture Quote #1

I am starting to like L.A., but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn’t have to acclimatize as much as I did to L.A Picture Quote #1

I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you’re not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture Picture Quote #1

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The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I’d write if I didn’t have to worry about offending Picture Quote #1

Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live Picture Quote #1

I can’t see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people Picture Quote #1

Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality Picture Quote #1

Sometimes we don’t know what we want until we don’t get it Picture Quote #1

No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Unless we’re talking about old-school, witchcraft-trial violence, can we please phase out the phrase ‘girl crush?’ While we’re at it, if we can axe ‘like, total girl crush’ unless Total Girl Crush is the name of a fizzy soft drink, in which case I’ll take two, thank you (Sloane Crosley Quotes) When I was nine years old, I wrote a short story called ‘How to Build a Snowman,’ from which no practical snowperson-crafting techniques could be gleaned. The story was an assignment for class and it featured a series of careful but meaningless instructions. Of course, the building of the snowman was a red herring (Sloane Crosley Quotes) It seemed more and more like something out of a children’s book - the butterfly that followed the little girl all the way home to her fifth-floor walk-up. How above-the-law children’s books are. Hansel and Gretel (littering, breaking and entering), Rumpelstiltskin (forced labor), Snow White (conspiracy to commit murder), Rapunzel (breach of contract) (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The nursery rhyme ends when a spider comes along and frightens Miss Muffet straight off her tuffet. I have wondered about what kind of lesson this is for a young girl. If you’re eating your curds and whey and a spider comes along, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with picking up a newspaper, smashing it, and going back to your breakfast (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Friendship is a Spackle in itself. You’ll forgive your friends a lot, and if you’re a woman, you’ll forgive your straight male friends even more. They represent the possibility of mutual toleration between the sexes, a keyhole into the mind of the Other, and the promise of one day meeting someone just like them except that you want to sleep with them (Sloane Crosley Quotes) As most doctors will tell you, cleansing is ridiculous. You know what’s been around longer than that state-of-the-art juicer? Your kidneys. And your liver. Still, the cleanse has recalibrated my definition of a splurge (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Are there moments when I see unrequited crushes or ex-boyfriends slow dancing with their dates and kind of want to stab myself in the spleen with a salad fork? Yeah, sure (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The Darkness at Irving. Hope to have as much fun doing anything ever as these guys have on stage (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Okay, this is Fran Lebowitz. She gave an interview once for the Paris Review about trying to write fiction and saying that fiction writers start talking about how characters are talking to them, and it’s crazy, she’s never had that. And I also thought, I’m never gonna be able to do this, because I didn’t feel that for a really long time (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Like most citizens of popular and international urban centres, I don’t take advantage of the cultural opportunities. Perhaps this comes from growing up in suburbia. Home is where you eat, sleep, read, watch television and ignore your parents. It is not where you go to the ballet and then attend a heated panel discussion about it afterwards. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Cohabitation seems a greater leap in cities because it’s all the harder to extract oneself if things turn sour. It’s what keeps otherwise functional adults living with their mothers. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book ‘Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers’ - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford’s wire hangers look like pool noodles. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) It’s funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They’re usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I don’t really think of my essays as being about myself. I know it sounds insane, but I just don’t think of them as a memoir. They’re essays; they’re not an autobiography. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The year most of my high school friends and I got our driver’s permits, the coolest thing one could do was stand outside after school and twirl one’s car keys like a lifeguard whistle. That jingling sound meant freedom and power. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I have certain rules that I’ve established for myself that took a while post-day job to figure out. Everyone says people who freelance or are writers struggle with the structure of it. I’m not allowed to check email before a certain hour. I’m not allowed to run errands during the day. I have to write a certain amount every day. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The reason that war is such a fascinating subject for writers is because it’s a revealer. Put a bunch of people in an adrenaline-fuelled, life-or-death situation and their fundamental behaviours are exposed, the scrim is taken away and the motivations behind each personality come out to play. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) There is no such thing as a crazy dog person in New York. Are there people who are completely insane about their dogs? Hordes. But cat people may as well have whiskers and tails themselves. That’s because their pets’ lack of social need taps straight into our worst fears as the human inhabitants of New York. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) In every woman’s wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I thought we had reached an understanding, the institution of marriage and I. Weddings are like the triathalon of female friendship: the Shower, the Bachelorette Party, and the Main Event. It’s the Iron Woman and most people never make it through. They fall of their bikes and choke on ocean water. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I am starting to like L.A., but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn’t have to acclimatize as much as I did to L.A. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you’re not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) The hardest thing is spending twelve hours a day accommodating the rest of the world, then going home at night and criticizing it. I would be curious about what I’d write if I didn’t have to worry about offending. (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live (Sloane Crosley Quotes) I can’t see the forest through the trees, except the trees are people (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality (Sloane Crosley Quotes) Sometimes we don’t know what we want until we don’t get it (Sloane Crosley Quotes) No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note (Sloane Crosley Quotes)

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