Sometimes I hate myself. But most of the time I hate what you have done to me

Sometimes I hate myself. But most of the time I hate what you have done to me

Sometimes, the weight of self-hatred can feel suffocating. It's a feeling that creeps in slowly, like a shadow that grows longer as the day goes on. It's a feeling that can consume you, leaving you feeling small and insignificant in its wake. It's a feeling that can be all-encompassing, clouding your thoughts and distorting your perception of yourself.

I hate myself. I hate the way I look, the way I talk, the way I think. I hate the mistakes I've made, the opportunities I've missed, the relationships I've ruined. I hate the person I see when I look in the mirror, the person who stares back at me with eyes full of self-loathing and regret.

But most of the time, I hate what you have done to me. I hate the way you made me feel small and insignificant, like I didn't matter. I hate the way you tore me down, piece by piece, until there was nothing left but a shell of the person I used to be. I hate the way you manipulated me, twisted my words and my thoughts until I didn't know what was real anymore.

I hate the way you made me doubt myself, question my worth, and second-guess every decision I made. I hate the way you made me feel like I was never good enough, like I would never measure up to your impossible standards. I hate the way you made me feel like I was nothing without you, like I couldn't survive on my own.

I hate the way you made me feel like I was to blame for everything that went wrong, like I was the one who deserved to suffer. I hate the way you made me feel like I was unworthy of love, like I was destined to be alone and miserable. I hate the way you made me feel like I was a burden, like I was better off dead.

But despite all the hatred I feel towards myself and towards you, I know that I am stronger than both. I know that I am capable of overcoming the self-doubt and the self-loathing, of rising above the pain and the hurt. I know that I am worthy of love and happiness, of peace and fulfillment. And I know that I will not let the darkness consume me, that I will not let the hatred win.