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Tim Allen Quotes

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really Picture Quote #1

I have a thing for tools Picture Quote #1

I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive Picture Quote #1

I do a lot of family shows Picture Quote #1

I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults Picture Quote #1

I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics Picture Quote #1

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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life Picture Quote #1

If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it Picture Quote #1

Man is the only animal to borrow tools Picture Quote #1

There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful Picture Quote #1

In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers Picture Quote #1

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive Picture Quote #1

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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded Picture Quote #1

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison Picture Quote #1

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing Picture Quote #1

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink Picture Quote #1

All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support, encouragement or a pit crew Picture Quote #1

Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do Picture Quote #1

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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing Picture Quote #1

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here Picture Quote #1

Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families Picture Quote #1

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times Picture Quote #1

If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you Picture Quote #1

Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious Picture Quote #1

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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it Picture Quote #1

Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together Picture Quote #1

When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite Picture Quote #1

You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress Picture Quote #1

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children Picture Quote #1

The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really. (Tim Allen Quotes) I have a thing for tools (Tim Allen Quotes) I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive (Tim Allen Quotes) I do a lot of family shows (Tim Allen Quotes) I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults (Tim Allen Quotes) I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics (Tim Allen Quotes) I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life (Tim Allen Quotes) If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it (Tim Allen Quotes) Man is the only animal to borrow tools (Tim Allen Quotes) There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful (Tim Allen Quotes) In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers (Tim Allen Quotes) Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive (Tim Allen Quotes) Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded (Tim Allen Quotes) Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison (Tim Allen Quotes) Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing (Tim Allen Quotes) Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink (Tim Allen Quotes) All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support, encouragement or a pit crew (Tim Allen Quotes) Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do (Tim Allen Quotes) I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing (Tim Allen Quotes) Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here (Tim Allen Quotes) Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families (Tim Allen Quotes) They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times (Tim Allen Quotes) If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you (Tim Allen Quotes) Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious (Tim Allen Quotes) I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it (Tim Allen Quotes) Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together (Tim Allen Quotes) When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite (Tim Allen Quotes) You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress (Tim Allen Quotes) I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children (Tim Allen Quotes) The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels (Tim Allen Quotes)

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