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Tim Conway Quotes

When I watch TV, I’m embarrassed by some of what’s on Picture Quote #1

When you’re small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot Picture Quote #1

My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs Picture Quote #1

As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists Picture Quote #1

Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her Picture Quote #1

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it Picture Quote #1

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I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home Picture Quote #1

If I wouldn’t offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person Picture Quote #1

I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team Picture Quote #1

You can’t TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you’ve just got to watch Don as Barney. That’s why I put Don in several of my movies Picture Quote #1

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life Picture Quote #1

I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don’t realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death Picture Quote #1

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I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction Picture Quote #1

I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it Picture Quote #1

We kept a broad audience, and we didn’t make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves Picture Quote #1

My parents were very funny - they didn’t know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ Picture Quote #1

I would get ill before going onstage - something about getting in front of people, and if they don’t laugh, I’m a bomb. I got over it when somebody laughed Picture Quote #1

I was dyslexic - was, still am - ‘cause I would see words that weren’t there. And people just started laughing, and I thought, well, this is a good way to make a living. I’ll just go downtown to read and have people laugh, you know? Picture Quote #1

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People enjoy sitting back knowing they won’t hear a lot of four-letter words Picture Quote #1

My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs Picture Quote #1

I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team Picture Quote #1

I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s Picture Quote #1

Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face Picture Quote #1

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it Picture Quote #1

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It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing, so I enjoy making people happy Picture Quote #1

We kept a broad audience, and we didn’t make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves Picture Quote #1

I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew Picture Quote #1

I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it Picture Quote #1

If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life Picture Quote #1

Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

When I watch TV, I’m embarrassed by some of what’s on (Tim Conway Quotes) When you’re small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot (Tim Conway Quotes) My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs. (Tim Conway Quotes) As a kid I was short and only weighed 95 pounds. And though I was active in a lot of Sports and got along with most of the guys, I think I used comedy as a defense mechanism. You know making someone laugh is a much better way to solve a problem than by using your fists (Tim Conway Quotes) Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her (Tim Conway Quotes) At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it. (Tim Conway Quotes) I avoid all the language and nudity and violence and everything. I have enough of that at home. (Tim Conway Quotes) If I wouldn’t offend my religion or God, why would I want to offend an audience because in effect those people are being watched over by the same person. (Tim Conway Quotes) I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team. (Tim Conway Quotes) You can’t TV surf without coming across an Andy of Mayberry episode where you’ve just got to watch Don as Barney. That’s why I put Don in several of my movies (Tim Conway Quotes) If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life. (Tim Conway Quotes) I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don’t realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death. (Tim Conway Quotes) I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction. (Tim Conway Quotes) I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it. (Tim Conway Quotes) We kept a broad audience, and we didn’t make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves. (Tim Conway Quotes) My parents were very funny - they didn’t know it. But they were. They were actually sharing an IQ. (Tim Conway Quotes) I would get ill before going onstage - something about getting in front of people, and if they don’t laugh, I’m a bomb. I got over it when somebody laughed. (Tim Conway Quotes) I was dyslexic - was, still am - ‘cause I would see words that weren’t there. And people just started laughing, and I thought, well, this is a good way to make a living. I’ll just go downtown to read and have people laugh, you know? (Tim Conway Quotes) People enjoy sitting back knowing they won’t hear a lot of four-letter words (Tim Conway Quotes) My career is pretty much over. I’m out in the Valley eating soft-boiled eggs (Tim Conway Quotes) I’ve known Harvey for over 40 years and I worked with him on the Burnett show for 11 years. I guess you could say we’re about as close as you can get to being a comedy team (Tim Conway Quotes) I don’t watch a lot of TV anymore. A lot of it isn’t the kind of thing you can feel comfortable with watching with your kids. And I still feel that way even though, now, my kids are in their 30s (Tim Conway Quotes) Don Knotts was a really big influence, especially on the Steve Allen show. I mean, look at the guy, his entire life is in his face (Tim Conway Quotes) At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it (Tim Conway Quotes) It’s hard to be sad when you’re laughing, so I enjoy making people happy (Tim Conway Quotes) We kept a broad audience, and we didn’t make fun of people who had necessarily made mistakes in their life and burned them to the ground. We made fun of a commercial or a movie or ourselves (Tim Conway Quotes) I like to work a lot with wood. I make furniture that falls apart. I also sew (Tim Conway Quotes) I’ve never really taken anything very seriously. I enjoy life because I enjoy making other people enjoy it (Tim Conway Quotes) If only my folks had beaten me, I could have gotten some material about my miserable childhood. But as it is, I’ve had a great life (Tim Conway Quotes) Fortunately my wife is understanding. When I come home from the races she never asks any questions, if I tell her I just ate a $380 hot dog (Tim Conway Quotes)

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