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Toilet Quotes

The average human being spends three years of life going to the toilet, though the average human being with no physical toilet to go to probably does his or her best to spend less. It is a human behavior that is as revealing as any other about human nature, but only if it can be released from the social straitjacket of nicety Picture Quote #1

Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit Picture Quote #1

This was shaping up to be the worst conference call of my life, even worse than that time I accidentally clogged the school toilet back in the first grade with my Boba Fett figure (I was pretending it was the Sarlaac pit) Picture Quote #1

Me and my sisters were so awful. One nanny, we loved, but we hacked her email and sent her boyfriend lots of weird messages, and we once actually locked her in the toilet, too Picture Quote #1

I left Israel to work as a model, to just make money - I didn’t care if I was doing an ad for toilet paper or diapers, I just really wanted to allow myself to go to school, to go to university without waitressing, because when I’m in a school environment I just really like to study and have the best grades and learn as much as I can Picture Quote #1

Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There’d be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital Picture Quote #1

Rules governing defecation, hygiene, and pollution exist in every culture at every period in history. It may in fact be the foundation of civilization: What is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society? Picture Quote #1

I’m horrible to live with. I don’t clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet Picture Quote #1

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot Picture Quote #1

My parents taught me many of the things that people need in life to feel confident: practical things, such as managing finances, mucking out the goat barn, cleaning a house, doing repairs, mending a broken roof or a toilet Picture Quote #1

Maybe I’ve moved to the dark side, but it’s clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper Picture Quote #1

When someone kisses someone or flushes the toilet it is my other who sits in a ball and cries. My other beats a tin drum in my heart. My other hangs up laundry as I try to sleep. My other cries and cries and cries when I put on a cocktail dress Picture Quote #1

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development Picture Quote #1

I’ve always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in ‘Science of Sleep’ with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D Picture Quote #1

I’m a writer who stacks cat food for a living. It’s true: I have a master’s degree in creative writing, I’ve published two critically successful books, and I get paid to replenish the shelves of my local food co-op with pet food, sponges and toilet paper. Nine days out of 10, I do it quite happily Picture Quote #1

In our skulls, we carry around 3 pounds of slimy, wet, greyish tissue, corrugated like crumpled toilet paper. You wouldn’t think, to look at the unappetizing lump, that it was some of the most powerful stuff in the known universe Picture Quote #1

At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis Picture Quote #1

One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor Picture Quote #1

Dead people never seem to address the obvious - the things you’d think they’d be bursting to talk about, and the things all of us not-yet-dead are madly curious about. Such as: ‘Hey, where are you now? What do you do all day? What’s it feel like being dead? Can you see me? Even when I’m on the toilet? Would you cut that out?’ Picture Quote #1

When I was writing my dissertation, I wrote about Freud and the process of sublimation, which is when you learn to stop breast-feeding, or stop going to the toilet whenever you want to. It’s about learning to repress a desire for instant gratification Picture Quote #1

There was no glam squad, whatsoever. There were no dressing rooms. There were no bathrooms. Let’s start at our base level. We didn’t have toilet paper. We went to the woods to use the bathroom Picture Quote #1

Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, ‘White people’s problems.’ Picture Quote #1

We are now in the 21st century: all books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent reprisal Picture Quote #1

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger Picture Quote #1

Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence? Picture Quote #1

I wrote my first book in a toilet in a factory where I was a floor sweeper Picture Quote #1

The first thing I did when I decided that I was going to dive into the world of poop was look at who was doing stuff in that world. The first I came across was the World Toilet Organization. So one of the first things I did was to go to their annual show in Moscow Picture Quote #1

Well, I’ve thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don’t know what I’d do Picture Quote #1

I live with three boys, and I can’t tell you how hard it is to get your hands on toilet paper. They steal it Picture Quote #1

When you go to jail, there’s so much simple stuff missing. You just want some good toilet paper or a real toothbrush, a real blanket and a real bed to lay in Picture Quote #1

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Text Quotes

The average human being spends three years of life going to the toilet, though the average human being with no physical toilet to go to probably does his or her best to spend less. It is a human behavior that is as revealing as any other about human nature, but only if it can be released from the social straitjacket of nicety. (Toilet Quotes) Boxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit. (Toilet Quotes) This was shaping up to be the worst conference call of my life, even worse than that time I accidentally clogged the school toilet back in the first grade with my Boba Fett figure (I was pretending it was the Sarlaac pit). (Toilet Quotes) Me and my sisters were so awful. One nanny, we loved, but we hacked her email and sent her boyfriend lots of weird messages, and we once actually locked her in the toilet, too. (Toilet Quotes) I left Israel to work as a model, to just make money - I didn’t care if I was doing an ad for toilet paper or diapers, I just really wanted to allow myself to go to school, to go to university without waitressing, because when I’m in a school environment I just really like to study and have the best grades and learn as much as I can. (Toilet Quotes) Gambling is so pervasive in Nevada that maybe the state should just go the whole hog. There’d be gum machines that dispensed chewing tobacco if you lost. You could gamble for the toilet paper in public bathroom stalls. And fill out Keno cards in an attempt to win cancer therapy at the hospital. (Toilet Quotes) Rules governing defecation, hygiene, and pollution exist in every culture at every period in history. It may in fact be the foundation of civilization: What is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society? (Toilet Quotes) I’m horrible to live with. I don’t clean. My clothes end up wherever I take them off. I forget to flush the toilet. (Toilet Quotes) In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. (Toilet Quotes) My parents taught me many of the things that people need in life to feel confident: practical things, such as managing finances, mucking out the goat barn, cleaning a house, doing repairs, mending a broken roof or a toilet. (Toilet Quotes) Maybe I’ve moved to the dark side, but it’s clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper. (Toilet Quotes) When someone kisses someone or flushes the toilet it is my other who sits in a ball and cries. My other beats a tin drum in my heart. My other hangs up laundry as I try to sleep. My other cries and cries and cries when I put on a cocktail dress. (Toilet Quotes) Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that’s only a recent development. (Toilet Quotes) I’ve always loved 3D. In fact, as a kid, I was exposed to 3D at an early age because my grandfather was a specialist of 3D in cinematheques. And then my cousin put it in ‘Science of Sleep’ with toilet paper tube cities. But he was a specialist and I always wanted to do something in 3D. (Toilet Quotes) I’m a writer who stacks cat food for a living. It’s true: I have a master’s degree in creative writing, I’ve published two critically successful books, and I get paid to replenish the shelves of my local food co-op with pet food, sponges and toilet paper. Nine days out of 10, I do it quite happily. (Toilet Quotes) In our skulls, we carry around 3 pounds of slimy, wet, greyish tissue, corrugated like crumpled toilet paper. You wouldn’t think, to look at the unappetizing lump, that it was some of the most powerful stuff in the known universe. (Toilet Quotes) At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis. (Toilet Quotes) One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor (Toilet Quotes) Dead people never seem to address the obvious - the things you’d think they’d be bursting to talk about, and the things all of us not-yet-dead are madly curious about. Such as: ‘Hey, where are you now? What do you do all day? What’s it feel like being dead? Can you see me? Even when I’m on the toilet? Would you cut that out?’ (Toilet Quotes) When I was writing my dissertation, I wrote about Freud and the process of sublimation, which is when you learn to stop breast-feeding, or stop going to the toilet whenever you want to. It’s about learning to repress a desire for instant gratification. (Toilet Quotes) There was no glam squad, whatsoever. There were no dressing rooms. There were no bathrooms. Let’s start at our base level. We didn’t have toilet paper. We went to the woods to use the bathroom. (Toilet Quotes) Wichita Falls, Texas is considering using toilet water for drinking. And a dog there today said, ‘White people’s problems.’ (Toilet Quotes) We are now in the 21st century: all books, including the Koran, should be fair game for flushing down the toilet without fear of violent reprisal. (Toilet Quotes) I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. (Toilet Quotes) Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence? (Toilet Quotes) I wrote my first book in a toilet in a factory where I was a floor sweeper (Toilet Quotes) The first thing I did when I decided that I was going to dive into the world of poop was look at who was doing stuff in that world. The first I came across was the World Toilet Organization. So one of the first things I did was to go to their annual show in Moscow. (Toilet Quotes) Well, I’ve thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don’t know what I’d do. (Toilet Quotes) I live with three boys, and I can’t tell you how hard it is to get your hands on toilet paper. They steal it. (Toilet Quotes) When you go to jail, there’s so much simple stuff missing. You just want some good toilet paper or a real toothbrush, a real blanket and a real bed to lay in. (Toilet Quotes)

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