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Tom Lehrer Quotes

I loved high school, but I wouldn’t want to do it again Picture Quote #1

When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex Picture Quote #1

If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I’ll kind of sidle up and see what they’re saying, what they look like, how they sound. That’s an invasion of privacy Picture Quote #1

The people who were in college in the 50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their ‘Mad ‘magazine years picked me up also Picture Quote #1

When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn’t say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can’t say ‘girl.’ Picture Quote #1

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you Picture Quote #1

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I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the 30s and 40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football Picture Quote #1

I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn’t get it, then they could go home and look it up Picture Quote #1

The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability Picture Quote #1

My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But thats just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun Picture Quote #1

I’m very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I’m pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say ‘hmm’, for example Picture Quote #1

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize Picture Quote #1

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I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that’s not exactly a full-time job. It wasn’t that I was writing and writing and writing and quit Picture Quote #1

Soon we’ll be out amid the cold world’s strife. Soon we’ll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep’rate ways, We shall ne’er forget thee, thou golden college days. Hearts full of youth, Hearts full of truth, Six parts gin to one part vermouth Picture Quote #1

On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away Picture Quote #1

Always predict the worst, and you’ll be hailed as a prophet Picture Quote #1

You can’t be satirical and not be offensive to somebody Picture Quote #1

I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I’m for it Picture Quote #1

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Don’t write naughty words on the wall if you can’t spell! Picture Quote #1

I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one another, the least they can do is SHUT UP Picture Quote #1

You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can’t make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good Picture Quote #1

All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I’m glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of OZ, there’s a dirty old man! Picture Quote #1

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize Picture Quote #1

And although I’m all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I’m not willing to go to jail for Picture Quote #1

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I don’t want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them Picture Quote #1

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while Picture Quote #1

Don’t solicit for your sister, it’s not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price Picture Quote #1

I wasn't really a performer by temperament Picture Quote #1

The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people Picture Quote #1

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

I loved high school, but I wouldn’t want to do it again (Tom Lehrer Quotes) When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex (Tom Lehrer Quotes) If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I’ll kind of sidle up and see what they’re saying, what they look like, how they sound. That’s an invasion of privacy (Tom Lehrer Quotes) The people who were in college in the 50s were my first real audience, and their kids, the people who found my records in the cabinet during their ‘Mad ‘magazine years picked me up also. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn’t say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can’t say ‘girl.’ (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the 30s and 40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn’t get it, then they could go home and look it up. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But thats just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I’m very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I’m pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say ‘hmm’, for example (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that’s not exactly a full-time job. It wasn’t that I was writing and writing and writing and quit (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Soon we’ll be out amid the cold world’s strife. Soon we’ll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep’rate ways, We shall ne’er forget thee, thou golden college days. Hearts full of youth, Hearts full of truth, Six parts gin to one part vermouth (Tom Lehrer Quotes) On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Always predict the worst, and you’ll be hailed as a prophet (Tom Lehrer Quotes) You can’t be satirical and not be offensive to somebody (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I’m for it (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Don’t write naughty words on the wall if you can’t spell! (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I think that if people are having trouble communicating with one another, the least they can do is SHUT UP. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) You can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can’t make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing stupid things without realising or, instead, thinking they were doing good. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) All books can be indecent books, though recent books are bolder. For filth, I’m glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. I could tell you things about Peter Pan, And the Wizard of OZ, there’s a dirty old man! (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize (Tom Lehrer Quotes) And although I’m all for freedom of expression and against censorship, there are certain things I’m not willing to go to jail for. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I don’t want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them (Tom Lehrer Quotes) If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Don’t solicit for your sister, it’s not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. (Tom Lehrer Quotes) I wasn't really a performer by temperament (Tom Lehrer Quotes) The reason most folksongs are so atrocious is that they were written by the people (Tom Lehrer Quotes) Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh (Tom Lehrer Quotes)

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