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W C Fields Quotes
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Text Quotes
Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people (W C Fields Quotes)
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against (W C Fields Quotes)
Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got (W C Fields Quotes)
I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two (W C Fields Quotes)
Some contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch (W C Fields Quotes)
If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for (W C Fields Quotes)
She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave (W C Fields Quotes)
It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast (W C Fields Quotes)
You can't cheat an honest man (W C Fields Quotes)
I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years (W C Fields Quotes)
[deathbed remark while reading the bible:] looking for loopholes (W C Fields Quotes)
I have spent a lot of time searching through the bible for loopholes (W C Fields Quotes)
Happiness means quiet nerves (W C Fields Quotes)
Somebody left the cork out of my lunch (W C Fields Quotes)
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with (W C Fields Quotes)
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it? (W C Fields Quotes)
Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket (W C Fields Quotes)
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake (W C Fields Quotes)
Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad (W C Fields Quotes)
Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again (W C Fields Quotes)
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live (W C Fields Quotes)
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against (W C Fields Quotes)
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia (W C Fields Quotes)
I must have a drink of breakfast (W C Fields Quotes)
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes (W C Fields Quotes)
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming (W C Fields Quotes)
I never met a kid I liked (W C Fields Quotes)
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home (W C Fields Quotes)
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday (W C Fields Quotes)
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull (W C Fields Quotes)