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W C Fields Quotes

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Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people  (W C Fields Quotes) I never voted for anybody. I always voted against  (W C Fields Quotes) Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got  (W C Fields Quotes) I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two  (W C Fields Quotes) Some contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch  (W C Fields Quotes) If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for  (W C Fields Quotes) She's all dressed up like a well-kept grave  (W C Fields Quotes) It ain't a fit night out for man nor beast  (W C Fields Quotes) You can't cheat an honest man  (W C Fields Quotes) I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years  (W C Fields Quotes) [deathbed remark while reading the bible:] looking for loopholes  (W C Fields Quotes) I have spent a lot of time searching through the bible for loopholes  (W C Fields Quotes) Happiness means quiet nerves  (W C Fields Quotes) Somebody left the cork out of my lunch  (W C Fields Quotes) Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with  (W C Fields Quotes) My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?  (W C Fields Quotes) Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket  (W C Fields Quotes) Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake  (W C Fields Quotes) Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad  (W C Fields Quotes) Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again  (W C Fields Quotes) Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live  (W C Fields Quotes) Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against  (W C Fields Quotes) Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia  (W C Fields Quotes) I must have a drink of breakfast  (W C Fields Quotes) I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes  (W C Fields Quotes) I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming  (W C Fields Quotes) I never met a kid I liked  (W C Fields Quotes) I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home  (W C Fields Quotes) I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday  (W C Fields Quotes) If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull  (W C Fields Quotes)
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