Advertisements
W C Fields Quotes
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
Advertisements
![[of Charlie chaplin:] the son of a bitch is a ballet dancer.... He's the best Cballet dancer that ever lived... And if I get a good chance I'll kill him with my bare hands Picture Quote #1](https://img.picturequotes.com/2/15/14847/14847.webp "[of Charlie chaplin:] the son of a bitch is a ballet dancer.... He's the best Cballet dancer that ever lived... And if I get a good chance I'll kill him with my bare hands Picture Quote #1")
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
){kind=link}
Friendship Quotes
Love Quotes
Life Quotes
Funny Quotes
Motivational Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Advertisements
Text Quotes
How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil’ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter (W C Fields Quotes)
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days (W C Fields Quotes)
To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I’m not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I’m asked to believe (W C Fields Quotes)
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ‘’I’m looking for a loop-hole,’’ he explained (W C Fields Quotes)
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously (W C Fields Quotes)
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol. (W C Fields Quotes)
I’ve been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees. (W C Fields Quotes)
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. (W C Fields Quotes)
In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town. (W C Fields Quotes)
It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn’t travel far to find a girl. (W C Fields Quotes)
The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn’t. (W C Fields Quotes)
I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew. (W C Fields Quotes)
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree (W C Fields Quotes)
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead. (W C Fields Quotes)
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream (W C Fields Quotes)
You can fool some of the people some of the time -- and that’s enough to make a decent living (W C Fields Quotes)
I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. (W C Fields Quotes)
This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful (W C Fields Quotes)
California is the only state in the union where you can fall asleep under a rose bush in full bloom and freeze to death. (W C Fields Quotes)
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her (W C Fields Quotes)
It’s a wonderful thing, the D.T.’s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors. (W C Fields Quotes)
The low-ceiling price bazaar for sexual relief was a street called Middie Alley. You could barely get a pushcart through this avenue. Top price-twenty-five cents. (W C Fields Quotes)
Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil. (W C Fields Quotes)
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places (W C Fields Quotes)
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch (W C Fields Quotes)
A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her (W C Fields Quotes)
Whilst traveling through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. Had to live on food and water for several days (W C Fields Quotes)
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. There's no use in being a damn fool about it (W C Fields Quotes)
[of Charlie chaplin:] the son of a bitch is a ballet dancer.... He's the best Cballet dancer that ever lived... And if I get a good chance I'll kill him with my bare hands (W C Fields Quotes)
Remember, a dead fish can float down stream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream (W C Fields Quotes)