We are so used to dissembling with others that in time we come to deceive and dissemble with ourselves

We are so used to dissembling with others that in time we come to deceive and dissemble with ourselves

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, a French author and moralist, is known for his astute observations on human behavior and relationships. One of his most famous quotes is, “We are so used to dissembling with others that in time we come to deceive and dissemble with ourselves.” This statement speaks to the idea that our tendency to deceive others can ultimately lead to self-deception.

In our daily interactions with others, we often engage in dissembling or hiding our true thoughts and feelings. This can be a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from judgment or conflict. However, when this behavior becomes habitual, it can have a detrimental effect on our own self-perception. We may start to believe our own lies and distortions, leading to a disconnect between our true selves and the persona we present to the world.

La Rochefoucauld suggests that this cycle of deception can become so ingrained in our behavior that we begin to deceive ourselves without even realizing it. We may convince ourselves that we are happy in a job or relationship when deep down we know we are not. We may justify our actions or beliefs to ourselves, even when they go against our values or morals. This self-deception can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and inner turmoil.

The quote also highlights the importance of self-awareness and introspection. By acknowledging our tendency to dissemble with others and ourselves, we can begin to break free from this cycle of deception. We can strive to be more authentic and honest in our interactions, both with others and with ourselves. This can lead to greater self-acceptance, clarity, and inner peace.