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Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Please, be quiet. I’m very interesting Picture Quote #1

You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit Picture Quote #1

That show, ‘The Amazing Race’ - is that about white people? Picture Quote #1

Hookers don’t like to snuggle Picture Quote #1

My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him Picture Quote #1

I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do Picture Quote #1

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It’s fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don’t play on emotion too much Picture Quote #1

You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody’s so tired Picture Quote #1

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There’s just too much money Picture Quote #1

When I do stand-up for a long time, I’ll get burned out, then I’ll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I’d like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I’ve written. That’s what I’m trying to do now, just write smaller movies Picture Quote #1

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ is, like, really funny Picture Quote #1

There’s more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I’m not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it’s a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life Picture Quote #1

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That’s one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren’t supposed to say. If we didn’t do that, if we didn’t push against those limits, we’d just be standing around onstage and yelling Picture Quote #1

We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it’s in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics Picture Quote #1

There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend Picture Quote #1

It’s not good for comedy to be like, ‘Thanks for liking me.’ Being popular is poison Picture Quote #1

I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, ‘Dude, Where’s My Spaceship’ Picture Quote #1

I’ll never forget my grandmother’s last words. She said ‘What are you doing?’ Picture Quote #1

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Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I’m not that kind of person Picture Quote #1

I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster Picture Quote #1

Don’t boo people! Don’t boo! Be more specific! Like, ‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!’ Picture Quote #1

Have you seen that show on CBS called ‘The Amazing Race’? Is that show about white people? Picture Quote #1

I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy Picture Quote #1

I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life Picture Quote #1

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I’m not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I’d have to go back to school or something Picture Quote #1

I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness Picture Quote #1

I know my face is turning red. I don’t want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It’s rage. The color of my face is rage Picture Quote #1

But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they’re part of the same ilk Picture Quote #1

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I’m stunning. But I’ve gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I’ve put on, the more success I’ve had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that Picture Quote #1

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing Picture Quote #1

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Friendship Quotes

Motivational Quotes

Inspirational Quotes

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Text Quotes

Please, be quiet. I’m very interesting (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) You know you’re getting fat when your socks don’t fit (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) That show, ‘The Amazing Race’ - is that about white people? (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Hookers don’t like to snuggle (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) My father used to beat me with his belt...while it was still on him. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) It’s fun for me to couple emotion with comedy. I think it helps comedy. I think a lot of times American comedies don’t play on emotion too much (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least, there is a delirium that starts kicking in on the fifteenth hour, and that can help. Below the just thirteenth hour is where I have a concern, because everybody’s so tired (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There’s just too much money (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) When I do stand-up for a long time, I’ll get burned out, then I’ll get an acting gig. For me, the grass is always greener. I’d like to do a mixture of all of it. My goal is just to do small movies that I’ve written. That’s what I’m trying to do now, just write smaller movies (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I’ve ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the ‘Girlfriend in a Coma’ is, like, really funny (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) There’s more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I’m not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it’s a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) That’s one of the great things about comedy: we can - and should - say the things that other people aren’t supposed to say. If we didn’t do that, if we didn’t push against those limits, we’d just be standing around onstage and yelling (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it’s in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) There was a long time where I was an ‘artist’ in quotes, who had no money. But I guess back then I also never had a girlfriend (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) It’s not good for comedy to be like, ‘Thanks for liking me.’ Being popular is poison (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I wonder if in 2050 there will be a movie called, ‘Dude, Where’s My Spaceship’ (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I’ll never forget my grandmother’s last words. She said ‘What are you doing?’ (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I’m not that kind of person (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I just could just shave my beard, and nobody would recognize me. Although I look like Jodie Foster (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Don’t boo people! Don’t boo! Be more specific! Like, ‘WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!’ (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Have you seen that show on CBS called ‘The Amazing Race’? Is that show about white people? (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I think sadness and anger are really fertile ground for comedy. No one is really interested in a happy person doing comedy. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I find anger to be funny. I find people that are so wrapped up in their own personalities to be funny, and lost. Like myself in real life. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I’m not versed enough in constitutional law to run for office. I’d have to go back to school or something. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I don’t want to do an edgy show, I didn’t want bad language. I think edginess is the new hackiness. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I know my face is turning red. I don’t want you to interpret it as being embarrassed. It’s rage. The color of my face is rage. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) But comedy is like music, it appeals to some people. Some people like Creed, those people are usually pretty stupid. But they probably also like Carrot Top. I would say that they’re part of the same ilk. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I’m stunning. But I’ve gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I’ve put on, the more success I’ve had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes) Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing. (Zach Galifianakis Quotes)

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