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Funniest Quotes

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Expectation. Reality  (Funniest Quotes) You had one job  (Funniest Quotes) When all else fails take a nap  (Funniest Quotes) Nailed it  (Funniest Quotes) So close, yet so far away  (Funniest Quotes) Only dead fish go with the flow  (Funniest Quotes) I have no idea what I'm doing  (Funniest Quotes) I don't like morning people. Or mornings. Or people  (Funniest Quotes) Yoga. Vodka  (Funniest Quotes) You idiot! I’m sure you’re right, but why?  (Funniest Quotes) Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now  (Funniest Quotes) I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In  (Funniest Quotes) Life is hard. It's harder if your stupid  (Funniest Quotes) Lazy rule: Can't reach it. Don't need it  (Funniest Quotes) At first I was like. But then I was all  (Funniest Quotes) Now I can get fat  (Funniest Quotes) The first step to recovery is admitting you're a dumbass  (Funniest Quotes) I'm not lazy, i'm just in energy saving mode  (Funniest Quotes) I saw that  (Funniest Quotes) Friends are therapists you can drink with  (Funniest Quotes) If he truly loves me, he'll let me sleep  (Funniest Quotes) I stopped fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now  (Funniest Quotes) I don't always bark at night  (Funniest Quotes) If cats could talk, they wouldn't  (Funniest Quotes) Feed me so i can take a nap  (Funniest Quotes) Today was going great until, people  (Funniest Quotes) My sex life is like a Ferrari. I don't have a Ferrari  (Funniest Quotes) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished  (Funniest Quotes) Save the Earth, it's the only planet with chocolate  (Funniest Quotes) Mistakes men make: 1. Doing things 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things  (Funniest Quotes)
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